What If
by Whack Cat
Summary: Many people wonder what life would be like if certain things were different, like if they were born as the opposite gender, were born rich, or their friends had different personalities. For CPU Candidates Rom and Ram, they made a game out of it. (A series of one-shots where Rom and Ram make up "what if" stories about their lives. (T for language. Open to suggestions.)
1. Ram the Man

"Goodnight Rom. Goodnight Ram." As Lowee's Basilicom oracle Mina puts the twins to bed, she says goodnight to the two as she leaves the room. She shuts the lights off, leaving the only light source in the dark room the twin's nightlight.

"Goodnight, miss Mina." The two little rascals, Lowee CPU Candidates Rom and Ram, lied on their bunk beds in the dark. Rom slept on the bottom bunk while Ram slept on the top, due to Rom having a fear that she'll roll off her bed and hit the ground while she sleeps. Ram had no such fear, confidently taking the top bunk to show that she's not afraid of such a thing happening.

The two lied in their beds, covered in their warm blankets to protect them from the cold weather that Lowee is infamous for. Yet, even with the two wrapped up in their fluffy blankets, they could not get to sleep.

"Ram," Rom mumbled, trying to get her twin sister's attention. "I can't sleep."

"Me neither, Rom," Ram grumbles back, looking over the edge of the top bunk to her sister. "It's boring to stay in bed when you're not even sleepy yet. I wish we could just draw until we fall asleep."

"But remember what happened last time?" Rom asks Ram. "We fell asleep on our own markers and Mina had to scrub our faces all afternoon. She also took all of our markers and crayons so that we go to sleep on time."

"Well," Ram says, rubbing her chin with a mischievous grin on her face. "She may have taken away our markers, but that doesn't mean we still can't tell stories."

Some time ago, the twins had made their own little story telling game when they overheard their older sister Blanc, the CPU Goddess of Lowee, mumble about how she wished she had changed the fanfiction she had just written hours before a writing competition's deadline and sending it in at the last second. The two observed her wander about her room, mumbling to herself about how she would have changed the heroine, modified the setting to make it more retro, and put in a twist that the villain was actually the good guy. After watching the display, and getting caught for peeping on her, the two decided to create a game based off of Blanc's rant.

They called their game, "What if," where they would think about one thing to change in their or their friends lives and make a story around that single change and how the world or their friends would treat that change. They came up with many different stories. Some happy, some sad, some that made Mina wash their mouths out with soap, and some that even Blanc wrote down and submitted to contests. The two would usually start the game either when they were bored or in the middle of an activity. Mina was ecstatic whenever she overheard the two talking about their story. Mostly because it gave her a chance to relax for a few minutes. It was also very cute to see the two in deep thought about what to change and what that would do.

"So," Ram says. "What should we change in this story?"

"Hmm." Rom put her hand to her chin to think about what to change. They've already changed Blanc's hair color, Uni and Noire's goddess positions, Neptune and Nepgear's bodies, and Rei Ryghts managing to keep her kingdom over the years. Yet they haven't changed anything about themselves in their stories yet. That game Rom an idea.

"Hey Ram," Rom whispered to the top bunk. "What if you were born as a boy?"

Ram was about to give a small laugh at that, until the thought actually crossed her mind.

What if Ram was born as a boy?

~Ram the Man~

Lowee's newest game system was just about to be released. Blanc's push to heavily advertise and gain more third party developer support helped push interest in the system when it was announced. It was also a unique new system that they had developed, which was different from all the other three kingdom's systems. Designed to be portable, yet still be as powerful as a home console, interest in the uniquely designed system increased. Lowee had some difficulty with their previous system when it was released, barely garnering any attention and making their shares drop even lower than Planeptune's. Despite the lost shares, Blanc personally supported the system as long as she could. Hiring third party developers to develop exclusive games for it and pushing for high quality first party games that she herself oversaw, she tried to increase her shares and regain her people's faith.

Even with the high quality games, her shares barely grew. That is, until five years later, she announced her new system that she had been working on in secret. The reveal of the new tablet looking system was met with surprise at what it can do. It even garnered the attention of third party developers that worked on other system exclusives to take interest in it and announce that they were developing or porting their games to the system. It was safe to say, that when the system released, Lowee's shares would rise high above the rest. All the other goddesses were in for a surprise when it finally released.

And so was Blanc. As the launch day of the new system slowly approached, Mina approached the doors to Blanc's room, carrying two wrapped objects in her arms. She knocks on the door with one of her hands, trying not to drop the objects that she's carrying.

"Come in," Blanc utters behind the door.

Mina manages to open the large wooden door without dropping her well bundled items and walks in. Blanc was sitting at her desk in her large swivel chair, observing the "Lowee Swap" Neppit threads. As Mina approached, she swiveled in her chair to face her.

"Is there something that requires my attention, miss Mina?" Blanc asks, looking at the two bundled up objects in her oracle's arms.

"Yes, miss Blanc" Mina responds. "As you know, our shares have been raising at quite the fast rate. This has been good for our kingdom's development and rebuilding the people's faith in you." One of the objects in her arms starts to squirm and she shifts it to help make it more comfortable. "That is why, earlier this morning, the Sharicite crystal shined even brighter than the sun. When I went to check on it, as per my normal daily schedule, I have discovered these two."

Mina stretched out her arms to show the two wrapped objects she's holding. In her arms held two young babies, wrapped in colored blankets. The one on her left arm was wrapped in a baby blue blanket and was holding its arms close. The one on her right was wrapped up in a pink blanket, stretching its arms out.

"These are your new younger siblings, miss Blanc." Blanc sat in her chair, wide eyed at this new revelation. She's an older sister? And even more, she has relatives?

One word stood out though in Mina's announcement. "Siblings?" Blanc asks the oracle, who was passing the pink blanketed baby to Blanc.

"Yes," Mina answered back, stepping back and cradling the baby she was holding. "The one you are holding right now is the brother. It's rare for a CPU to have two siblings, even more to end up with a brother."

Blanc looked down at the small baby boy in her arms, flabbergasted that what she holds in her arms was a male CPU Candidate. As she looked at him with wide eyes, the young child stretched his arms and grabbed Blanc's finger, gripping it with his light grip. Blanc felt her heart jump as the child grabbed it, but calmed down when he started to hold her finger closer. She thought that the small child she held was an angel sent down from Celestia as a gift for her hard work.

Mina walks closer to Blanc and hands her the blue blanketed child. Blanc had to pull back her finger, making the young boy tear up until he felt his sister lie next to him in Blanc's arms. Mina stood back, watching the normally raging and furious goddess gently holding the two young siblings in her arms and smiling. If she had a camera on her, she would have taken a photo right there.

"What should we call them, miss Blanc?" Mina asked.

Blanc looked down at her two younger siblings, remembering that the children had just been born today. She furrows her brows, trying to think of the perfect names for the two. She turned her head to the computer that sat behind her that showed a thread of people talking about the specs on her new system. Looking at the screen, she finds the perfect names for the two twin siblings.

"Rom and Ram," Blanc utters, turning back to Mina. "The sister will be named Rom, and the brother shall be named Ram."

Mina gave a small smile, trying to hold in her glee of the two young CPU angels that lied in Blanc's arms. "Of course, miss Blanc. I shall inform the staff about the children's names and have them marked down in our books." Mina turns and leaves the room, leaving Blanc with the two young siblings in her arms. She watches as the two started to soon nap, lying their heads on her small chest.

"This is the best day of my life," Blanc whispers to herself.

~XOX~

"This is the worst day of my life," Blanc muttered to herself.

She sat inside Planeptune's Guild hall, waiting for her dear younger siblings to be released from the Guild's holding cells. Who would have thought that after so many years, the two young angels that lied in her arms, napping on her chest as they watched television and play games together, would be in a prison cell. She wonders if she should blame herself for how they've grown over the years, but knows that only one person is to blame. And that's her younger brother.

"Come on kids," someone says as the door that leads to the cells is opened. Out of it walks Rom, Ram, and IF right behind them. IF turns to where Blanc is sitting and Rom walks towards her. Ram walks in the opposite direction before being grabbed by the back of his coat by IF and pulled towards Blanc.

"Here they are, Blanc." IF says, pushing the two twins towards their older sister. "Make sure to keep a better eye on them so that we don't have another incident. Especially this one." IF taps her finger on top of Ram's hat, making him swipe his arm at her to make her stop.

"I know how to raise my younger siblings, thank you very much," Blanc grumbles to IF. IF walks down the Guild's hallway, leaving the three siblings alone.

Rom and Ram stood in front of Blanc, wondering what's going on through her head. Rom, who was wearing a large blue winter coat with puffy sleeves, stared down at her blue boots and white leggings in fear. She shifted her sight to her pink shoulder purse that hung from her shoulder to try to look away from Blanc. Ram, who was wearing a pink puffy winter vest, looked at his sister's puffy blue hat that was about to fall off. He reaches up and readjusts it for her, before readjusting his pink and white lumberjack hat on his head. He glimpses at Blanc, who seemed about ready to blow her top, and looked down at his pink winter boots and white jeans, looking like he's also sorry.

"I want you two to look at me," Blanc commands the two. The two comply and look at Blanc, Rom having an apologetic face and Ram having a bored look on his. Blanc turns her attention to Ram. "Now, would you mind explaining yourself for the incident you caused?"

"It was my right to fight back," Ram defended himself. "The bastard took Rom's lunch money."

"How many times have I told you not to swear?" Blanc growls at Ram.

"How many times has aunt Mina told you not to swear?" Ram mutters back.

Blanc frowns at Ram before rubbing her eyes. "Alright. Just tell me why you didn't get me for this?"

"Well, you're always busy with your story practices-"

"Those are my finished writings."

"-And I'm supposed to be the symbol for our male followers, showing that I'm someone that they can put their trust in and should follow. So, I decided to show how strong and clever I am!"

"By tarring the poor guy and making him look like a chicken?" Blanc asks.

"Yes," Ram says, proudly.

"And then by making him chase you through the streets, knocking over people and disrupting traffic?"

"Y-Yes?" Ram says, now unsure of himself.

"And then by making him trip over a wire you set up and fall into Planeptune's largest vat of pudding, tainting the entire kingdom's supply with tar and feathers?"

"T-That was actually me," Rom mutters to Blanc. "Y-You know Ram can't t-tie a clove hitch."

"Rom, please." Blanc rubs her eyes again. "I'm not mad at you right now. Right now, I'm mad at Ram for causing another national incident. I mean, this is the third time this month!"

"And my eighth this year," Ram says cheerfully. "I'm on a role!" Blanc pinches him by the ear. "Ow. Ow. Ow."

"I'm tired of you causing these repeated incidents, Ram." Blanc lets go of his ear. Ram holds his hand up to it, rubbing it to try to make it feel better. Rom tries to take a look at it before Blanc speaks up again. "And I want you to stop going along with his ridiculous stunts, Rom. What kind of image do you think a goddess would have if her followers knew that she was the associate of a mad prankster?"

"A pretty cool one, I'd have to say," Ram says, chuckling to himself. Rom also giggles at Ram's joke as she looked in her bag. As Rom tended to Ram's ear, Blanc thought about how the two became pranksters exactly.

She wondered if it was all the cartoons and comics that the two read back when they were younger, but Blanc wasn't sure. All she knew was that now her angelic siblings kept causing trouble for everyone. The two would prank everyone, no matter how close or friendly they were with. They even pranked their entire Basilicom's staff a few times. Replacing egg cartons with eggs with ones full of large glass eyes, changing the ball room's soft lights with strobe lights, using one of Vert's beloved BL visual novel games and playing the audio over the entire Basilicom's intercom for half a day… Mina got the blunt of their tricks though. She was seen as a perfect test subject to see how far they can go with their pranks. It came to a head once when they swapped her complimentary homemade brownies with… _Something else_ and were put on the staff's laundry duty for a week, cleaning the stains out of the newly bought white staff shirts that everyone wore before eating the "brownies."

Blanc was not interested in the two's repeated pranking. Especially when one involved Rom and Ram reading an erotic fanfiction that she had written about Neptune and Noire over Lastation's radio program. Noire wouldn't talk to Blanc for a whole month, while Neptune kept nagging her to make a sequel and if Rom and Ram could read it over her kingdom's radio.

Blanc grumbled at the thought of that prank. She then looked at the two twins, as Rom put her ice cold water bottle to Ram's ear, making him flinch. Ram was always thought as the mastermind behind the tricks, setting them up and planning them. Everyone thought that he forced Rom to join in on his tricks, as the young girl was afraid to be alone. In actuality, Rom was the planner of the duo, figuring out how much of something is needed and where it needs to be positioned to make it work. As Blanc and Mina were the only ones know this fact, everyone that was caught in their tricks punished Ram, only giving a slight scolding to Rom if they weren't swayed by the little girl crying about the scolding. Even though she knew that both of them were to blame, Blanc couldn't stay mad at them. They were kids, her little angels, and she just has to show them how to be proper gods. And besides, the two are actually sorry whenever their pranks go too far, despite what Ram's facial expressions say.

"Listen," she says in a calm voice to the two. Rom removes her water bottle from Ram's ear and they look back at Blanc. "If you ever have another problem with someone taking your things or causing you trouble, just tell me, even if I'm busy. I know that you want to prove yourselves as gods in the people's eyes, but I'd appreciate it if both of you can at least try not to cause another incident like this. For at least two months, if possible."

Rom and Ram looked at Blanc, then to each other. They both gave silent nods to each other in agreement before looking back at their older sister.

"O-Ok Blanc," Rom says, stuttering like she always does. "We'll t-try to n-not do this again."

Ram sighs as Rom bumps him in the elbow, making him stop. "I guess I can try not to show how clever I am to everyone for a bit. They need some time to let it sink in before I can amaze them all again."

 _The plan is to make them forget that it happened actually,_ Blanc thought to herself, reminding herself that she'll have to bargain Neptune with some chocolate pudding to keep this incident covered up. She coughs into her fist and gives a small smile to the two. "Thank you. Now, who's up for some ice cream?"

"Ice cream!" Ram cheered, throwing his arms up in the air.

"S-Sure," Ram stutters, only raising her arms up halfway and shaking them in agreement. The three siblings walked out of the Guild, walking side by side with Blanc holding the two by their hands.

~XOX~

"And then Blanc got Rom a vanilla caramel topped cherry sundae," Ram says, leaning over the bed bunk.

"And Ram got a chocolate cherry topped sundae with wafer cookies," Rom says, looking back at her sister.

"And Blanc got an orange sherbet with tangerine zest," Ram finishes. "The end." The two twins then yawned after finishing their story and lied back in their beds. "Goodnight Rom."

"Goodnight Ram," Rom says, pulling her blankets back over herself.

As they lied back down to finally sleep, outside their bedroom door stood Blanc, who was listening in on the twin's story. She quietly opens the door just a smidge to look at the two sleeping angels in bed before quietly closing the door. After that, she looks down at her flat chest before patting it.

"Wonder what it'd be like if I was a guy?" Blanc mutters to herself before shrugging her shoulders. "Might be a good idea for one of those fanfic contests. You never know." She walks down the Basilicom's hallway, shutting the light off behind her.

 **Thanks for reading. This is an experimental one-shot series that I've wanted to try. I won't be updating this as often as my other story, but it would be nice to know what you all think about this concept, both the overall theme and Ram being a boy. Please leave a review and I hope you'll be looking forward to more of these "What If" stories from Rom and Ram!**


	2. Blanc's Blind Date

"Hey Rom. Hand me the glitter when you're done."

"S-Sure, Ram."

It's Valentine's Day and the two were making valentine cards for their friends over the past few hours. They have made cards for Nepgear, Neptune, Uni, Noire, Vert, Mina, and are now working on their card's for their dear sister Blanc.

"Rom, I need the scissors again. My heart isn't round enough."

"O-Okay. Can you hand me the glue, i-if you don't mind?"

It's safe to say that the two were causing a mess as they crafted their cards. There was glue, pink bits of cardboard paper, colored pens, and pink and purple glitter everywhere on the carpet. Yet even with the big mess they were making, Rom and Ram considered the mess necessary for their goals. They wanted their cards to be perfect for everyone, to show that they really loved them. It would have been simpler to buy a card from one of the convenience stores, but they decided that just buying a bunch of cards and writing their names in them would be too impersonal. They had also spent their allowance on a bunch of chocolate that was on sale, so that might have helped with their decision.

"And… Done!"

"D-Done."

The two have finally finished their personalized valentine's day cards for Blanc. And just in time. A big Valentine's Day parade was going to be happening in Lowee and everyone would be there. It would be the perfect opportunity to give them to everyone when they arrived. The parade was scheduled to start in an hour, and Blanc wanted Rom and Ram to be ready to avoid being late like last year. Being the last ones to arrive at your nation's own parade was certainly embarrassing for her.

The twins gathered up the cards and shook as much loose glitter they could from them before putting them under their hats. They wanted their cards to be a surprise for everyone and put on a small show by pulling them out of their hats for each of them.

"Come on Rom," Ram says, putting her card filled hat on her head and opening the door. "We wouldn't want to keep Blanc waiting like last year."

Rom silently nodded and put her card filled hat on and proceed to walk out the door with Ram. As the two walked down the basilicom's hallway, they could see out the window at all of the people that were gathering for the parade. The two could see a bunch of people, both men and women, standing side by side, holding hands or hugging each other. Even if the two had the mental capabilities of children for being goddesses, they knew what love was and the different kinds of love people felt.

The sight of everyone with their special somebodies, which was the word that Mina used to replace "lover" when explaining what love was to them, made the two wonder if they'll ever meet their special somebody's. Both of them walked down the hallway, letting that question roll around in their heads, collecting ideas and imagined characters like a loose Katamari ball in Lastation.

"H-Hey Ram," Rom turns her head to her sister, who was thinking about what her imaginary special somebody would be like. Ram turned her attention to her sister. "W-What kind of sp-special somebody do you think I would have?"

Ram thought about it for a while, thinking about what kind of person would be perfect for her sister. After thinking for a few seconds, she turned back to her sister to answer her. "I think your special somebody would be someone that treated you kindly, cuddle you whenever you were sad, read you stories when you're sick, and get you the fluffiest blankets they could find!" Ram hugged herself after talking about the blankets to emphasize how fluffy they would be. For a few seconds, Rom let the image of her perfect special someone sit in her head before Ram spoke up. "Well? What about me? What kind of special somebody do you think I would have?"

Rom should have expected this question from her, but was still caught off guard by being put on the spot. Still, Rom thought about what kind of perfect somebody would be a great fit for Ram. "W-Well, I think they would also b-be kind, b-but also be a-adventurous, a-and have an o-open p-personality, li-like you." Rom's stutter made it a bit hard for Ram to hear her clearly, but she got the idea of what kind of special somebody Rom said she would have. She let the image of her perfect somebody sit in her mind as well.

Suddenly, the two stopped in the hallway and began to giggle to themselves. The images of their perfect somebodies still sat in their minds, but it became hilarious with how they portrayed them. Their imagined somebodies had no flaws and sounded like they were perfect for them, which made them giggle even more before full out laughing in the hallway.

"Ha ha ha! Those guys sound like they would be from some crappy fanfiction! Bah ha ha ha!" Ram laughed, poking fun at the images of the people that they told each other.

"Hee hee," Rom giggled. "Y-Yeah. As if we'd m-meet people so s-similar like us and f-fall in love with them! Hee hee!"

The two continued to laugh, mocking the perfect and unflawed special somebodies they made up. They really found it funny with how they sounded perfect for each other that it reminded them of Blanc's romance stories, which made them laugh even harder. Her stories had the same perfect, no flawed people meet up with someone that was basically the same as them and fall in love with no conflicts. It made them laugh with how their sister Blanc thought that was still a good idea after writing it eleven times.

"Where the hell have you two been?" Speaking of Blanc, she was standing out on the balcony, setting up chairs for everyone so that they could all watch the parade together. And she's been waiting for her two giggling sisters so that they were on time together. "I've been waiting out on the balcony all this time for you. Now tell me where you two have been!" Blanc tapped her foot on the ground, waiting for the two to give her an answer.

As the two stopped laughing to look at their pissed off sister, the thought of their sister having a special somebody came to mind.

"Hey Blanc," Ram spoke up, stifling her laughter. "Ha-Have you ever thought about having a special somebody?"

"That's not what I asked," she responded, furrowing her brow at them. "I asked where the hell you two were? And what's with that question? You shouldn't be thinking about stuff like that!"

"W-We were just playing a li-little game, Blanc," Rom responded.

"So!" Ram intrudes. "Have you ever thought about having a special someone?"

Blanc mumbles for a bit to herself before sighing. She knows that the two won't listen to her unless she answers their question, so she begrudgingly obliged. "No. I have never thought about having a special somebody."

Rom and Ram both gave a surprised gasp at this revelation. Blanc couldn't tell if they were playing a joke on her or not.

"So you've never thought about going out with someone?" Ram asks her. "Like on a date?"

"No," Blanc answered bluntly. "As I am a goddess, it would be difficult for me to find someone to fall in love with. Especially since a lot of people that claim they love me only love me for my body."

Rom and Ram couldn't tell if Blanc was joking, but the point was made. Blanc had never thought about having a special somebody because of her position as goddess, making it difficult for her to actually find someone that loved her as she is, not as a goddess.

The two stood in the doorway, thinking about how their dear sister could find her special someone. After a few seconds, both of them snapped their fingers.

"What about those dating sites?" Ram asks. Blanc wondered how she knew about those sites and whether she should have Mina block them to protect her sisters.

"Y-Yeah. What if you went on one of those sites?" Rom said. "W-What if you met someone on a website and went on a d-d-date with them?"

What if Blanc went on a-

"Stop right there," Blanc demanded, interrupting the twins' thoughts. "No 'what if' stories before you take your seat!" Blanc pointed at the chairs that sat on the balcony and glared at the twins. They decided to follow her orders and sit on the foldout chairs that sat outside. After sitting down, Blanc sat in the row behind them before speaking again. "Now you may continue."

What if Blanc went on a blind date?

~Blanc's Blind Date~

Two months have passed since Blanc started using a dating app. Originally, she intended to use the app for research for her romance novels. She wanted to know what putting yourself online without anyone knowing about you and developing a relationship online was like. As she was a goddess, she didn't include much information or a photo of herself in her account, since she would be bombarded by desperate users that wanted to date her. It would also be bad if word got out that Blanc, the normally secluded and quiet yet easy to anger goddess, was using a dating app, so she kept quiet about it around her friends.

As time went on, her original reasoning for using the app changed when she started interacting with another user. The other user also had no image and little information, so Blanc decided to throw them a bone by sending them a message.

"Hey there. Do you like to write?"

After a minute of searching through the app for other users, she received a response.

"Sure. I like to write. Are you a writer?"

And from that question, Blanc made her first friend on the app. They both talked about what kinds of stories they write about, like fanfiction and personal stories and even sharing some of them together, before moving on to other topics that they both enjoyed. Blanc found it relieving to talk to someone that liked the same things as her and not be judged, as she learned when she let it slip that she enjoys dubs over subs. Noire refused to drop that little bit of info for a month whenever they talked about a new show. When Blanc told her friend that she liked dubs more than subs, she thought that they would mock her the same way as her friends.

Instead, the other user stated that they understand her decision as with action shows, it can be difficult to focus on the text and animation at the same time. From that, Blanc had long discussions with the user long into the night. Over the course of two months, the two talked about games, fanfiction, new shows, and their everyday lives. As the weeks passed, Blanc felt like she was really connecting with this unknown user. She felt that she could actually experience what love felt like if she met her friend in real life. As Blanc thought about this revelation, her friend sent her the legendary question:

"I was wondering. Do you want to go on a date?"

Blanc was stunned by the question. She was excited that her friend wanted to go on a date with her, but then she started to stress over it. Blanc wondered how her friend would react if they met face to face. Would they be surprised by her being a goddess and treat her differently? Or would they treat her like a normal human if they didn't recognize her? Were they even a believer in her, or a follower of another goddess? It was safe to say that Blanc was overthinking the entire situation.

Her phone buzzed again, snapping her out of it. "If you don't want to, that's fine."

Blanc's friend was giving her an out, but she didn't want to seem rude. It was a dating app, so this person was probably expecting to go on a date with someone. And Blanc did originally want to conduct some research on how online dating works. She figured that this was the moment where the two online lovers would meet in real life. With her original goal in mind, Blanc put on a brave face and responded.

"Sure. Where would you like to go?"

A few minutes' pass as Blanc waited for an answer. She hoped that her friend wouldn't pick out a risqué place to visit. Going on a date to a maid bar would be a bit much for her.

"How about a movie?"

Yeah. A movie would be an acceptable place to go to for a first date. She texts back, asking what movie they should go see.

"What movie do you want to see?"

"There's a romance movie playing in Leanbox that I'd like to see."

Going on a date in Thunder Tit's country? Blanc shuddered at the thought, but didn't want to disappoint her friend. She begrudgingly responded. "Sure. We can go watch that."

"Would you like me to pick you up?" Well that's nice of them. Blanc wonders if they would even have enough credits to come to Lowee and pick her up. Actually, telling someone to pick her up from Lowee's basilicom would be bad, so she had to deny.

"No thanks. I can cover my own transportation."

"You sure?"

"Positive." As a goddess, Blanc can just fly there. She'd just have to be careful when she arrives to avoid drawing attention. She'll also have to choose a new set of clothes so that her friend doesn't recognize her as Lowee's goddess.

"Okay then," Blanc's friend responds. "I'll send you the address. The movie starts at 8:30, so I'll be out front at 8 so we can get our tickets and snacks." The address to the theatre pops up on her phone.

"Sounds good. See you the-" Blanc stops typing for a second, realizing that they both don't know what either of them look like. Well with her having to dress up differently to avoid looking like her normal self, she'll just pick out something discreet so that she can be easily recognized. She backspaces her message to correct it. "I'll be wearing a yellow baseball cap, so that you can find me." Blanc didn't know why she thought a yellow baseball cap would be a good idea, but she sends the message anyways.

"Cool. I'll be wearing a light green sundress, so you can find me." Green sundress? Wouldn't everyone in Leanbox be wearing those with how warm it is over there? Well hopefully they'll be able to find her with the baseball cap she'll be wearing.

"I guess I'll see you there then."

"You too."

After that final message, Blanc's mind was spinning. She never expected that she'd be asked out on a date, or that she'd even go on one in her lifetime. She wondered what her friend would look like. She wondered if her friend would like how she looks. She wondered if her friend would laugh at her for her ridiculous username when they meet. She wondered… Where she's going to get a yellow baseball cap.

And with that thought, Blanc darted out of the room. "Mina! Where can I get a yellow baseball cap?!"

~XOX~

Blanc arrived in Leanbox ten minutes before eight and landed in an alleyway. She had flown to Leanbox in her White Heart form and had landed in an alley before departing to the theatre. For her clothing, she wore a pair of small black jeans, a white blouse, a brown thin coat, red sneakers, and that yellow baseball cap. Blanc wondered if the clothes made her look like a boy, but she rationalized that she could just explain that she's a girl to her friend if they were confused.

She walks towards the movie theatre, three minutes before eight, and stood out front. She figured that it would be easier for her friend to find her instead of them trying to find her. As she stood outside, she watched Leanbox's citizens wander in and out of the theatre. There must be a popular movie playing at the theatre with how many people there are. Many of them were holding hands, while others had their arms intertwined with each other. Blanc blushed a little at the thought of her new friend holding her hand or having their arms around each other. The thought made Blanc dizzy. The thought of being on a date overall made Blanc nearly fall over. She had never gone on a date, so the entire experience was both exciting and terrifying. Especially since she hasn't seen what her friend looks like. She also hoped that they wouldn't laugh at her for her short body. But she also wondered what they would do once the movie was over. Would they go to dinner? Would they go for a walk in the park? Would they ki… Ki… Kiss?! She covered her face with her hat to keep her blushing red face hidden.

"Excuse me?"

Blanc's train of thought came to a crashing halt when she heard that voice. It must have been her friend from the app! With the hat still over her face, Blanc took in a deep breath before letting it out to release some stress. She puts her hat back on and turns around to face…

"Oh, Blanc. Is that you?"

Thunder Tits. The one person that she was hoping to avoid at all costs tonight was standing right in front of her. While Blanc was worried that Vert would find out that she was going on a date, her attention turned to the Titty Monster's wardrobe. She was wearing a white sunhat on her head and dark green sandals on her feet, along with a small white handbag hanging from her shoulder. But what really caught Blanc off guard was that Vert was wearing a green sundress. Blanc's mind ran wild with different theories about why Vert was wearing that dress. Was she on a date with someone? Was she just strolling around in casual clothing? Was she going to see a movie wearing that? Those questions were however pushed back by the biggest and most embarrassing theory she could think of: Is Vert her date?

"Blanc? May I ask why you are out here? And why are you wearing that?"

Blanc was too stressed in thinking of an excuse to notice Vert stumble a bit in her question. She needed to think of something quick! Something clever! Something…

"Are you waiting for a friend?"

Like Vert giving her an out.

"Y-Yes! That's it! I-I'm waiting for a fr-friend that I met online!" Blanc let out a nervous chuckle after saying that. Hopefully Vert would buy it.

"Me too!" That moment of joy startled Blanc a little. "I have also met a friend online and am currently waiting for their arrival. I asked them out on a date and told them I'd be here at eight so that we could get our seats and snacks. I'm just waiting for them to arrive."

Right now, Blanc would have made a joke about Vert seducing some poor but lucky shmuck for a one-night stand. But the similarities kept nagging at her. Vert in the green sundress. Vert approaching Blanc while she had the yellow baseball cap. And now the fact that Vert is on a date with someone and arrived at the time that Blanc's friend said they would arrive. The thought that Vert was the one that she had been talking to the past two months kept nagging at her.

"M-Me too," was all that Blanc could muster to say. She hoped that her theory was wrong. She really hoped she was wrong this time.

The two of them stood outside the theatre for twenty minutes, waiting for their respective dates to arrive. Blanc wondered if she should text her date and ask if they got lost or if she arrived at the wrong theatre. She pulled out her phone just as it buzzed in her hand.

"Sorry, but where are you? Are you running late?"

Not even thinking about it, she looked at Vert. She was holding her phone in her left hand. Her theory popped back into her head at the sight before she forced her attention back to the message. It would be rude to not respond, even if it might lead to her theory becoming true.

"No. I'm out front. Where are you?"

Blanc hits send and looks at Vert. A second passes. Two seconds. Five. Ten. Blanc then lets out a sigh, seeing that her theory was incorre-

 _BZZZ BZZZ! BZZZ BZZZ!_

Vert's phone had vibrated and she looked at her screen. She lets out a small pent up sigh before tapping the screen several times. Blanc was freaking out right now. She couldn't have gotten her message! She couldn't be her date! She couldn't-

 _BZZZ BZZZ! BZZZ BZZZ!_

Blanc quickly brought her phone to her face. The sight of the message on her screen terrified her.

"I'm out front. The movie starts in eight minutes. I'm in the green sundress standing next to a small girl."

Blanc's brain snapped upon reading it. She was panicking so much that she didn't even register the insult in the message. Blanc tried to think of a way to explain this. One way. Just one way to show that Vert really isn't the person she had been telling her opinions and sharing her secret stories with!

"Turn to your left."

She sent the message and waited. One second. Two seconds. Five. Ten.

Vert turned to her left, facing Blanc.

Blanc was now frozen in fear, holding the still open phone in her hands. Terrified, she turned towards Vert and looked up at her. Vert also had the same look of fear on her face.

"Wr-WritersIncent83?" Blanc stuttered.

"B-BodaciousBodXL?" Vert asked.

The two stood there, staring at each other. Not speaking a word before changing into their goddess forms.

"We shall never speak of this," Blanc said. "Agreed?"

"Agreed," Vert responded.

The two lovers to be flew off in opposite directions from each other.

~XOX~

"When Blanc got back home, she deleted her account, the app, and smashed her phone," Ram said.

"Vert did the same thing," Rom responded. "After that, both Blanc and Vert never used a dating app again."

"The end!" The two looked rather glad with their story. It was the first time that they tried telling a story like this. They were rather proud of themselves with how they handled the twist and its buildup.

Blanc was not as pleased though. "Why the hell did you pair me up with Thunder Tits?!" she growled at the two.

This response made the twins jump in their seats. "B-B-Because we were told opposites attract?" Rom stuttered in fear.

"Y-Yeah," Ram continued. "W-We've already seen it with N-Noire and Ne-Neptune, so w-we just thought that s-since you and V-Vert…"

"How many times do I have to tell people?" Blanc angrily mumbled before she began to yell. "Vert and I aren't dating! I hate her with every fiber of my being! And I hate writers that think I love her even more than I hate her!"

"Eep! Blanc's mad!" Rom covers her face and turns away from her furious sister.

"And you still haven't told me where the hell you two were for the past couple of hours!"

"W-We have a good reason, Blanc!" Ram said, trying to calm her sister down. "W-We were making Valentine's cards for everyone!" Ram stuck her hand under her hat. "Look! We even made ones for y-"

Ram stopped talking and froze. She felt around in her hat before withdrawing it. In her hand was wet glue and glitter from the cards. Rom looked on in horror before taking off her hat, feeling some of her hair being pulled as she took it off. The top of her head was covered with wet glue, glitter, and pink cardboard paper hearts while her hat had cards covered in glitter glued to the inside of it. Rom started to tear up when she saw all the hard work she and Ram put into being covered in glue and were basically unreadable with how much glue and glitter covered them. Ram also started to cry as well, realizing the same thing was in her hat.

Blanc watched as her two sisters started to cry. She was still pissed that her sisters spent nearly the entire day making dumb cards, telling her a story where she ends up going on a date with Vert, and are now crying out on the basilicom's balcony fifteen minutes before the parade starts. She wanted to just leave them like this, but she couldn't. She sat up and helped Rom out of her chair and held both of their hands.

"Come on you two. Let's wash you up before everyone else gets here." Blanc pulled the two crying twins into the basilicom towards the bathroom to clean them and help salvage their cards.

It was safe to say that they were going to be late again this year.

* * *

 **Hey look! Another one-shot! And just in time for Valentine's Day!**

 **So for this one, I noticed that a lot of people wrote Nep/Noire fanfics and not many Blanc/Vert fanfics, so I decided to give it a try. I added the online dating part as a sort of buildup to the reveal that Vert was Blanc's date. Think I did a fine enough job with the buildup to it and Blanc stressing over it.**

 **Also, I've noticed some suggestions in the reviews. I have considered taking suggestions with a story set-up like this, so I think I'll see what suggestions people have and try to see about writing some of them, if people are fine with submitting them.**

 **Thanks for reading, and please leave a review of what you thought about the story!**

 **KuletXCore: I never even knew I made an Ice Climbers reference in my story, and I'm not even sure where I put it. I like your suggestion about Rom and Ram being the elder sisters and Blanc being a candidate, so I'll see about writing it at some point.**

 **mr I hate znt nobles kill em: Thanks. I was inspired a bit from Futurama for this type of story setup. I really like your censor idea, so I'll definitely be writing that at some point. For Vert's sisters, I'll have to really think about how to write that. The harem idea, I'd like to change to Neptune being the main character, since I'd rather not include a generic male character in one of these one-shots unless I have a good reason for including one.**

 **Authorian-Niotcifnaf: Thanks. I like your stories too.**

 **Joshuanobleza13: Thanks for pointing that error out. I have also corrected an oversight in the previous one-shot that said that Ram was the mastermind behind the pranks and changed it to Rom.**

 **Next time: Histoire Goes on Vacation**


	3. Sadie the Gentle Goddess

**So Histoire Goes for Vacation has been put on hold, so I hope you all enjoy this other "What if" story I've had rolling around in my head.**

On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, all of the CPUs from the Hyper and Ultra dimension decided to go on a picnic together. It was mainly Plutia's idea, as she had wanted to have a picnic with all of her friends for quite some time. Choosing to picnic in a monster free zone in the Virtua Forest, the CPUs had packed plenty of food for everyone and headed out to the picnic spot.

As they all arrived, the two Noire's helped flatten the large picnic blanket on the ground and everyone sat down to eat. Except for the two young, rambunctious CPU candidates Rom and Ram. They had decided to bring a Frisbee with them to play around with as everyone else ate. Probably for the best, considering what was about to happen.

"MMmm! This is so good!" Neptune was busy munching away at some pudding that Noire had made for the occasion.

"Well of course it would be good! I was the one that made it!" Noire said, secretly glad that Neptune liked her home made pudding. Everyone else self-consciously rolled their eyes at Noire's reaction. Neptune didn't as she was too busy savoring the taste.

"Must have been made with love," Blanc flatly joked, peeling a tangerine for herself.

As Noire was having a mental breakdown hearing that, Plutia spoke up. "Aww. I want to eat something made with love." She gave a dozing look over at Ultra Noire, who was also having a mental breakdown hearing that. Everyone else ignored the two Noires, eating the food that was packed.

Neptune was busy eating all the homemade pudding, as everyone else ate the sandwiches they all had made for the picnic. Nepgear and Uni sat next to each other, with Uni eating slower or faster depending on what Nepgear said to her. Blanc and Ultra Blanc sat next to each other, peeling the tangerines that they brought to the picnic. Plutia nibbled on her sandwich, but looked like she was about ready to make it her pillow. Noire and Ultra Noire were eating their sandwiches next to Neptune and Plutia, but due to the previous breakdowns, they had stopped eating for the moment. Rom and Ram were still playing in the field, ignoring the food in favor of playing around outside together. Both Vert's ate their sandwiches with an air of daintiness, until Hyper Vert had decided to dig around in her picnic basket and pull out a wine bottle.

Needless to say, it caught everyone at the blanket's attention. "Vert, why the hell did you bring that here?" Blanc asked.

"Well it had been awhile since we all had gone out to drink," Vert said. "So I figured a picnic would be a good time to try some wine tasting!"

"Isn't that kind of inappropriate for a picnic?" Noire asked, snapping out of her shock.

"Indeed," Ultra Blanc said. "Besides, there are children here," she said, referring to Nepgear, Uni, Rom and Ram.

Vert was waiting for a response like that. It was the perfect setup. "Oh my. You're right, Blanc. There are children here. I guess that means that only me and my Ultra self that can drink it."

Hearing the joke, Blanc blew a fuse. "You idiot! I'm not a kid!"

"Why did you leave me out?" Noire asked, feeling betrayed.

"I don't look like a kid at all!" Ultra Noire said, backing up her Hyper self.

"I can be an adult…" Plutia quietly said, ignored by the louder group of people.

"We're goddesses, you ass wipe!" Ultra Blanc yelled angrily at them.

Nepgear and Uni decided to stay out of it. Neptune also didn't bother to say anything, as she was still munching on her pudding.

"Oh dear," Ultra Vert piped in. "We apologize girls. But this is only for girls with big bodies that can hold their liquor." She bounced a little to emphasize the "big bodies" part.

"All that alcohol goes straight to your tits, boobs for brains!" Blanc growled at her.

"I can hold my liquor!" Noire angrily muttered at them.

"I can get big!" Plutia said happily. Everyone stopped yelling and eating and looked at her. "If I get big, I can drink right? Watch!" A beam of light engulfed Plutia, signaling her transformation.

Before the light even disappeared, everyone except for Plutia had abandoned the picnic.

~XOX~

After playing Frisbee for twenty minutes, the two playful twins had become tired, wanting to take a drink from the grape juice boxes that Blanc had packed for the picnic. As they arrived at the blanket, they found it to be next to abandoned. Sandwiches that were partially eaten had been left on the blanket or fell into the grass, tangerine skin was scattered around, and there was a large woman with purple hair drinking straight out of a wine bottle.

"Phaw! That's the good stuff!" The large purple haired woman had finished off the entire bottle of wine and slammed it on the ground next to her. This large woman was none other than Iris Heart, Plutia's HDD and scarier side. "Wonder if Vert brought some more." As she looked inside the picnic basket for more booze, she noticed the twins standing in front of her. "Hm?"

The two CPU candidates stood, watching Iris shuffle through their friend's food. They didn't recognize her, as Blanc had forbidden them from playing with Plutia in fear of such an event happening. Needless to say, the twins were in danger, and they didn't even know it.

"Um, excuse me miss…" Rom was the first to speak up. "But, why are you eating our picnic?"

"Yeah! It's ours!" Ram said, trying to act tough to Iris.

"Oh ho ho!" Iris Heart just laughed. "You two are so adorable! And cute." The way she said that made the two cringe internally, as it reminded them of CFW Trick. The two still acted brave though, as their food was being eaten by a stranger. Iris didn't note the two's uncomfortableness and sat up on the blanket. "Might I ask if you two know who I am?"

Rom shook her head at Iris as Ram spoke up. "I know that you're eating our food, you jerk!"

"W-We'd appreciate it if you'd leave." Rom put her arms behind her back and kicked the grass under her feet. "O-Our sister Blanc wouldn't want to have her picnic ruined. So if you would be so kind…"

"Take a hike!" Ram pointed her thumb behind her, giving a mean stare at Iris.

"Gah ha ha!" Iris just laughed at the two cuties, slapping her knee. "Oh, you two are just adorable! Ah ha ha… Hoooooh…" She looked through Vert's basket before finding another wine bottle. She takes it out and glances at the two. "Do you two know who I am?" The two shook their heads no. "I am Iris Heart, the CPU of Ultra Dimension's Planeptune. Do you know that name, Iris Heart?"

Rom and Ram put a hand to their chin, trying to remember who exactly Iris Heart was. The name was mentioned a few times by their friends, who were visibly shaken whenever they heard it. They also remembered her appearing a few times in Blanc's… "Private" story collection. Remembering those stories, and ignoring a few parts, the twins finally recognized who Iris Heart was.

"Ah! You're Plutia's mean side!" Ram said, slapping a fist into her hand.

"Yeah," Rom spoke up. "You're the scariest person in the world. Even scarier than that Magic lady."

Iris Heart did not like hearing such harsh words from such cute little angels. Standing up, with a little trouble from the wine, she walks over and towers over the two. "Now where did you hear such hurtful words, you two? A lady doesn't like being mocked behind her back!"

"B-Blanc wrote those in her books," Rom said, shaking her knees and wanting this conversation done quickly.

"Hmph! I'll need to teach her a lesson then," Iris muttered to herself, walking back to her spot on the blanket. Sitting down, she looked at the two twins who were still staring at her. "Well come on then! Don't you want to eat?"

"O-Oh! Uh, right." The two candidates sat down on the opposite end of the blanket from Iris and grabbed some sandwiches from the baskets and some grape juice boxes. While the two did find her a little scary, her anger reminded them of Blanc when she was mad, so they figured that they had nothing to worry about. They were also hungry from playing around, and wanted to rest for a bit. Their sister had also disappeared somewhere, so it would be best if they stayed at the picnic in case she came back for them.

Iris Heart was not the best baby sitter for the twins, as she kept drinking from the wine bottle and laughing to herself. Downing another gulp, she looked at the two and gave a small smile at them. "Heeeeeeeeey…" She sounded a bit like Plutia when she said that. "I heard you two tell some f-hic-funny stories…" The two gave her a nod as they nibbled on their sandwiches. "Can you… Can yooou make a story about meeeeeee?" Iris pointed at herself and waited for an answer.

The two were surprised that Iris asked that question and that she knew about their story telling skills. Wondering if they should use their incredible powers on Iris, they ended up accepting her request. They were going to be there for a while anyways, so it would help pass the time.

"Sure, miss Iris," Rom said to her. "Just give us a minute to think of a good idea." Turning to Ram, Rom whispered to her. "Got any ideas?"

"Hmm…" Ram closed her eyes and thought for a few seconds. To Iris, who was an outsider to their conversation, thought her thinking face was adorable. "How about one where she becomes a conqueror and tries to take over Gamindustri?"

"I think she might not like being called a conqueror, Ram."

"Hmm… What about Plutia tries to get a date?"

"W-We should save stories like that for when we get older."

"Hmm… Oh, I've got one!" The two whispered at each other, making sure that Iris could not hear them before turning their heads to face her. "We've got the perfect story for you, Iris lady!"

"Lay it on me kids!" Iris said, encouraging the two young story tellers. "Don't disappoint me!"

What if Plutia and Iris Heart's personalities were switched?

~Sadie the Gentle Goddess~

"Come on, Noire. Move your ass." The stern voice of a young girl called out to another as she walked through the forest. "Or do you want me to move it for you?"

Noire had been behind by just a few feet and had finally caught up with the other girl. She catches her breath before talking to her. "It's not… My fault… You're so fast…"

"Aww, but I like seeing you sweat, Noire." The girl brings her hand to Noire's forehead and wipes the sweat off her brow for her. The feeling sent a shock through Noire's spine. "You look so adorable when you beg me to help you."

"Can we just… Stick to… The matter at hand, Sadie?" Noire asked, panting in between her words as she looked at the girl.

The girl named Sadie glared at Noire, adjusting her black police hat on her straight dark purple hair that went down to her waist. Her black half-unbuttoned dress shirt had its sleeves rolled up, showing off her smooth arms that she crossed as she looked at Noire. Sadie them moved her hand to the riding crop that she had holstered to her small black skirt that was almost too short but long enough. As she grabbed the crop, she brought the end of it gently to Noire's chin and lifted her face up to her.

"My sweet Noire," Sadie said in an alluring voice. "Do you think I'm that forgetful of your needs?" She pulled the riding crop out from under Noire's chin and pointed into the forest. "Come. We have almost reached our destination. Then we can… Relax." As she said that in a sensual manner, she rubbed her sides as she holstered the riding crop, before walking away and bobbing her hips from side to side.

Noire nearly had a nose bleed from all of Sadie's teasing. She didn't know if it was fate, a curse, or she was just lucky, but she found herself fortunate to have Sadie around. The girl always stuck to her side, even in her most needed times, and while she did like to tease Noire, Sadie had always been aware of how Noire feels. While she found Noire's entire quest to become a CPU pointless, Sadie went along with it, as she found Noire's attempts cute and brave for such a nervous girl.

After collecting herself, Noire followed Sadie into the forest, until coming upon a small clearing with a large oak tree in the center. Sadie was already there, staring at the large tree. "What do you think of me writing our names together on that tree?" she asked, pointing at the large oak.

Noire shook off Sadie's words and walked into the clearing. "Come on, Sadie. A new CPU Core should have spawned here now." Rolling her eyes, Sadie joined her friend on the search for the fabled CPU Core, an object that can turn those that eat it into CPUs, powerful people that can rule nations with an iron fist. Sadie didn't see the need for herself to have one, as she already has an impressive iron fist, but helped Noire in her search for it. After ten minutes of looking, the two found no trace of a new CPU Core.

"Aww nuts," Noire said, fixing her hair. "Guess it's not here. We'll have to try again next week. Come on, Sa-"

Sadie had wrapped her arms around Noire's bare stomach and was pressing her face on the back of Noire's neck. "Noire, sweetie. I'm hungry." She rubbed Noire's stomach as she muttered those words, making Noire's knees shake. "In more ways than one." The lavender haired girl nibbled on Noire's ear, which always made Noire weak in the knees.

"O-Okay Sadie! J-Just give me a minute!" Pulling herself away from Sadie, Noire pulled out a bento box that she had been carrying and sat down next to the large tree. Unwrapping the box, she laid it on the grass and opened it, revealing the duo's lunch of rice balls, takoyaki, and two juice cans for the two of them. Sadie sat down next to Noire, who was about to dig in, when she felt Sadie's hands on her own.

"Why don't we start with the main course first, my dear?" Sadie said lustfully, leaning close to Noire's face that was blushing hot red.

Gulping down her feelings, Noire grabbed a chop stick from the box and placed one end of it under Sadie's chin before slowly pulling it out from under her chin and tap Sadie's mouth. "F-First, we eat. Then you can g-get your f-fill."

Sadie gave a small sly smile and sat against the tree, holding the chopsticks Noire gave her. "Oh, I like this side of you Noire. It's very…" Sadie pulled the chopsticks apart into two. "Alluring." Noire worked on ignoring the girl, deciding to pay attention to eating instead of Sadie's teasing. Sadie dug into the food, eating the takoyaki and drinking her juice. Noire had eaten the rice balls, which was Sadie's favorite food, and had apologized for it. As Sadie tried thinking of a way to get back at Noire, she noticed a small glowing object next to the base of the tree covered by grass.

Sifting through it, she ended up pulling out a small glowing rock with a power symbol on it. It was the CPU Core that Noire had been desperately searching for all this time. With it, Noire would become a CPU, and be able to make a new home for those that wanted out of Lowee and for those that needed one. With it, Noire could fix this messed up world and become the greatest goddess in history! With it, Sadie could tease Noire to see her cute angry face.

"Oh Noiiiiiiiirrrrrrre," Sadie drew out, catching Noire's attention. "Look what I goooooot." She slowly revealed the CPU Core in her hand, which made Noire's eyes light up.

"You found it?" Noire sounded so happy that Sadie found it, her smile could light up an entire city for the night. "Sadie, I'm so happy I could kiss you!" Realizing what she just said, she covered her mouth as Sadie perked her lips at the flustered beauty. Shaking it off, Noire made a grab for the Core when Sadie pulled her hand away.

"Ah, ah, ah," Sadie said, waggling her finger in front of Noire's face. "I think I'd like to keep this precious stone. It would be bad if you got it so undeservingly. If you want it, you have to earn it." Sadie gave a lewd smile at Noire, waiting for her expected flustered response.

Surprisingly, Noire had jumped at Sadie, grappling at the girl for the Core. "Come on Sadie! You know how hard I've been working to become a CPU! Give it to me!" This uncharacteristic outburst caught Sadie off guard, making her nearly lose grip of the Core in her hand. The two fought on top of each other, with Sadie keeping the Core out of Noire's reach. Sitting up, Sadie attempted to run around the tree, when Noire had grappled onto Sadie's dress shirt and was reaching for her hand that she held high above the both of them. "Sadie, please! Just give me the Core! Sadie!"

As she attempted to pry it out of Sadie's hand, Noire had ended up slapping her hand, causing the girl to lose her grip on the Core. In a split second, the CPU Core had fallen into Sadie's mouth and down her throat. Realizing what just happened, Noire and Sadie stood there, gripping each other and frozen in shock. After a few seconds, Sadie had decided to break the silence.

"Well, fuck me."

A blinding light covered Sadie, knocking Noire away from her. As Noire sat on the grass, fear crawled through her entire body. She was told that some people with impure goals that ate a CPU Core were turned into monsters. Noire froze up when the idea that her best and only friend might turn into a monster, or worse, a CPU with Sadie's sadistic side multiplied by ten!

As the light died down, Noire had tucked her head between her legs and covered her head with her arms, anticipating the worst. After a few seconds, a hand had touched the top of Noire's head, making her flinch.

"Nooooiiiiirrrrreeee…" The sound of a sleepy voice made Noire's fears ease away a little. "Come on, Noire. Please look at me." Noire knew that Sadie never said 'please' in her entire life, so the magic word made Noire look up at the person in front of her. "Aww… Aren't you adorable?"

There was no sign of Sadie anywhere, instead in her place was a mature woman with a kind and motherly face kneeling down to her. The woman had sleepy and warm eyes that had a power symbol inside her purple eyes that were looking at Noire in a concerned way. Her hand was rubbing Noire's head, trying to make her calm down.

Noire, unsure of what to do, backed away from the woman, who proceeded to slowly stand up. She was about a head taller than Noire, and had a bust that was about as big as her head. Her long light purple hair was frayed out everywhere, giving her a bed head look. Her outfit was the most surprising. Noire heard that CPU armor was usually like one-piece swimwear, but this woman's armor was entirely different. It looked more like footie pajamas, covering her legs, torso, and arms in black, along with some purple lines near her feet, waist, and hands. It still hugged her body, showing off her voluptuous figure though.

The woman stepped over to Noire and towered over her before offering her a hand. Noire, hesitantly, took her hand and was helped up on her feet. Patting herself down, Noire looked at the woman in front of her, not sure what to make of it. "U-Uh, um…"

"Oh it's so cute when you act shy, Noire," the woman said in a cute voice. Well Noire still knew it was Sadie, with how she always made her blush, but she was still cautious of the tall woman. Noticing Noire's discomfort, the woman slowly bowed to her apologetically. "I'm sorry if this change makes you uneasy, Noire. Please don't be mad at me." Noire was even more uncomfortable, as it was usually her bowing to Sadie instead of the other way around. Realizing her mistake, the woman stood up quickly. "Oh, I almost forgot. I haven't told you my name yet. My name is Iris Heart. I hope we can be friends."

Noire couldn't think of the words for this scenario. This tall motherly woman was Sadie? The contradicting differences gave her a headache. She had to sit down, so she walked back over to the tree and sat down next to it. Iris Heart followed and sat down next to her.

"Hauh," Noire sighed, rubbing her temples. "I can't believe that you turned into a goddess before me, Sadie."

"I… Do apologize for these turns of events, Noire." Iris Heart looked down at the ground, twiddling her thumbs and feeling sorry for herself. "My other self just wanted to have some fun with you. Please don't be mad at her."

Noire just couldn't stay mad at Iris Heart with how sorry she was for everything. Feeling bad for her, Noire shifted over to face Iris and, not really thinking, pulled her head into her lap. "I'm not mad, Iris. I'm just… Disappointed in myself for letting this happen to my friend." She ran her hand through Iris Heart's hair, soothing the large woman. "I do want to become a goddess to help people, but I feel right now, you need as much help as you can get. I shouldn't be focusing on myself right now and should rather be trying to help you through this as best as I can."

Iris lightly giggled to herself as Noire rubbed her head. "Thank you, Noire. I can see… I can… Yaaaaaawn…" Iris let out a long yawn and started to close her eyes. "I can see why Sadie likes you a lot." Closing her eyes, Iris Heart fell asleep on Noire's lap. Noire just continued to rub Iris Heart's head, enjoying the moment of peace.

That moment didn't last long as another flash appeared, getting Noire's attention. The light disappeared as quickly as it appeared, showing a small fairy in a dress on a flying book. "Hello there! My name is Histoire! I apologize if my sudden appearance surprised you, but I am here to help you in running your na-" Histoire stopped when she saw the scene before her. Noire just blinked back, not knowing what to say to the small fairy. Realizing what she had just intruded on, Histoire blushed and turned around to leave. "I-I-I'm sorry for interrupting you two! I-I'll just leave until y-you're both done! S-Sorry for the in-intrusion!"

"W-Wait a minute!" Noire yelled at the fairy. "I-It's not what it l-l-looks like!"

"Hmm? Noire?" Noire's yelling had caused Iris Heart to wake up. She proceeded to sit up and stretch her arms in the air and yawn. After that, she saw Histoire, who was flustered from what she saw. "Oh my... What a cute little fairy."

"M-My name is Hi-Histoire! And I am h-here to help you with y-your nation!" Histoire stuttered and bowed on the book, nearly losing her balance with how hard she bowed. Iris Heart stood up and walked over to the fairy and proceeded to softly pat her cute little head.

"Why thank you, miss Histoire," she said in a kind and gentle voice. "I really appreciate your generosity." Iris looked back at Noire, who was still sitting down and offered a hand to her. Taking it, Iris helped Noire stand up and gave her a hug, pushing the girl's face close to her pillow-like chest. "And I appreciate your help, Noire. Also know that Sadie also appreciates your help and having you around." Those words made Noire blush as she returned the hug to the large woman. Iris rubbed the girl's head affectionately before she started to slowly change back. "And Noire?" Noire looked up at Iris' warm face. "Sadie loves being your friend."

After those words left her mouth, Iris Heart was covered in light, changing back into the sadistic girl Sadie. Noire still hugged the girl, who was visibly disturbed by what had happened and pushed her away. Catching her breath, Sadie rubbed her sides, trying to calm herself down. After calming herself, she looked at Noire, who was giving her a small smile. Taking her riding crop, she pointed at Noire with it, making Histoire flinch.

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll make you the town's dumpster," Sadie threatened her.

Noire just let out a small giggle and flipped her hair. "Tell the world about you becoming a sweet and gentle woman when you transform? Do you think that I'm that forgetful of your needs?" Noire joked, making her voice sound similar to Sadie's when she said that.

As Noire giggled to herself, Sadie became flustered and started to slap the end of the crop at Noire's head. Noire crouched down and covered her head, laughing at how embarrassed Sadie was as she whacks her over the head. Histoire just watched the two girls, letting out a sigh as the two messed around.

"This isn't going to end well, is it?" she mumbled to herself.

~XOX~

"After that, Histy helped Sadie find Planeptune," Rom narrated.

"Even though Sadie wanted to turn her nation into a military state, Noire had managed to persuade her to turn her nation into a place to help people," Ram said.

"With Noire at her side, and with the help of Histoire's guidance, Sadie had warmed up to being the ruler of a nation, and proceeded to make Planeptune one of the most prosperous and well-kept nations in the Ultra Dimension," Rom uttered with a smile.

"The end!" The two had finished their story and their sandwiches, and proceeded to wait for Iris Heart's response.

Iris Heart teetered as she sat, holding the half empty wine bottle in one hand and trying to keep her balance with the other. Her eyes were hazy, but the two knew that she was paying attention to the story despite her drunkenness. After a few seconds, she started laughing. "Ha ha ha! Oh, that story was a hoot! That's the funniest story I've ever heard! Gah ha ha ha!"

"It… Wasn't meant to be funny…" Rom mumbled.

"Ha ha ha! Bah ha ha! Ah ha… Hooo…" Iris Heart finally stopped laughing and looked at the two, still drunk from the two bottles of wine she had finished. Drunk and not thinking straight, she got a wonderful idea in her head. "Heeeeeeeyy…. You kids want to know some adult stuff?"

Rom and Ram's ears perked at hearing that. No one was ever wanting, or willing, to teach them about the adult world, so having someone willing to teach them something was quite rare. They both nodded their heads enthusiastically at Iris, who grinned at the gleeful twins.

"Well okay then." Iris stood up, stumbling as she tried to keep her balance. She then gave a lewd smile, but due to her drunkenness, her face couldn't quite make it and her mouth looked more like a half-open mouth smile. Thrusting her arm out, she summoned her whip. Unfortunately, or fortunately for the twins, due to how out of it she was, only the hilt was summoned. "Are you twoooooooo cuties ready for your lessssssssssun?"

The twins were confused, but nodded their heads.

"Ooooooooookay theeeeeen… Taaaaaake that! Aaaaaand that!" Iris Heart swung her whip's hilt in her hand at them, not knowing that she hadn't summoned the entire thing. "And some of this!" Didn't stop her from thinking she was whipping the two into shape. The twins just sat there, confused as they watched her swing her hand around.

"Ram, what kind of lesson is this?" Rom whispered to her sister.

"No idea," Ram responded. "Maybe it's a dance adults do?"

"And this!" Iris swung her arm hard, making her lose her balance. She fell face first into Neptune's abandoned pudding, cushioning her fall somewhat. Concerned, the twins stood up and walked over to Iris, who rolled over to look up at them, pudding stuck in her hair. "Ded you keds lick de lessun?"

"It was… Eye opening," Rom responded.

"I thought it was fun," Ram replied to the drunken goddess.

"Dats… Guuuuuuuuuuud… Snoooooore…" Iris Heart fell asleep right in front of them, leaving the two to themselves. Rom looked at the wine bottle that was lying where Iris Heart was sitting and picked it up.

"Huh." The wine bottle had a label that said 'Grape Wine.' The bottle still had some wine in it. "Must be adult juice," Rom surmised. She took a sip from the bottle before shaking her head. "Eugh."

Noticing her sister's disgusted face, Ram walked over to her. "What's wrong, Rom?" Rom handed Ram the bottle, who proceeded to take a sip from it and make the same face as Rom. "Eugh. Yeah. I think it's expired." Ram proceeded to pour out the rest of the wine into the grass and toss the bottle back onto the blanket. After a few seconds of silence, Ram looked at her sister. "Want to play some more Frisbee?"

"Sure!" Rom grabbed the Frisbee disk that they left on the picnic blanket and both of them proceeded to run back into the field, leaving a snoring Iris Heart with her hair covered in pudding on the picnic blanket with half-eaten sandwiches laid around her.

* * *

 **Well hope you all liked this one! I've been wanting to try writing a story like this for a while with Plutia and Iris Heart. It was fun to write!**

 **Also for Histoire Goes on Vacation, that one wasn't as fun to write. I've put it on indefinite hold until I can think of a more entertaining way to tell the story so that you all can enjoy it.**

 **NepisLife: I like that idea with Dengekiko and Famitsu, especially since they aren't used that often in stories, so I'll add that story to my plate.**

 **Ark: Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll see about trying to write an entertaining way about Rom and Ram being Neptune's sisters if I can.**

 **Again, leave a review if you enjoyed the story! And again, if you have a one-shot story suggestion, leave it in a review and I'll see about writing it!**

 **Next time, a story suggestion by mr I hate znt zombies kill em, "Censored!"**


	4. Censored

**Story suggested by mr I hate znt nobles kill em.**

"Take that, Rom!"

"Eep! W-Well take this!"

"Ooh! There goes my head!"

The two twins Rom and Ram were currently playing a game of Mortal Kombat on the SLES system together. How they found the game no one knows, since Mina made sure to keep all kinds of violent and gory games hidden from the twins in a special place no one would look. And yet the two found the game and have been playing against each other for the past few hours, with no one knowing.

 _GATHUNK!_

Or at least that's how it was before Abnes burst through the door.

"I sense little girls playing something bad!" The short pink dressed and skull adorned girl said as she walked into the room. The twins ignored her as she saw the sight of the offending image of Rom's character pulling the spine out of Ram's character. "I knew it!" She walked over and pulled the game cartridge from the system, ending their game.

"Hey! We were playing that!"

"Noooo… My kill streak…"

"Little girls shouldn't be playing something this graphic!" Abnes said to the two, waving the cartridge around in her hand. "You two should be playing like proper little girls! Like playing with dolls or dress up!"

The twins just rolled their eyes at Abnes. She always did this whenever and wherever the twins were playing M-rated games. Burst in, take the game away, scold them for playing it, and then be thrown out when Blanc or Mina arrived. They were currently on the third step, but neither of the other two had yet to arrive.

"Come on girls! I'll show you how to play properly!" Abnes grabbed the twins by the wrists and tried to pull them away from the game devices, but with them all being the same size, she wasn't getting anywhere.

The twins just sat on the couch as Abnes kept pulling on them. "Rom, this is stupid! I don't want to play with Abnes," Ram whispered to her sister.

"Me either," Rom whispered back. "But what should we do?" Abnes had currently put the Mortal Kombat game in her pocket, so the twins couldn't just take it from her. Thinking of a plan to get it back, Rom came up with a brilliant idea. "Hey miss Abnes!"

Abnes stopped pulling and looked at Rom. "Yes, little girl?"

"Instead of playing dress up, why don't we play story time together?"

Abnes's eyes lit up when she heard the girl willing to play along with her. She let go of the twins and hopped up on the couch in-between them. "Of course! I'd love to tell you some stories! Want to hear one about a prince rescuing a princess from an evil dragon? Or one about a prince freeing a princess from an evil curse? Ooh! What about one where a prince and a princess set off on a quest to save the world?"

Needless to say, the thought of the girls going along with Abnes's plans excited her. She could barely keep herself under control with how other people kept their kids away from her. Shaking her head, Ram looked at Abnes. "Those stories are dumb! We've heard those stories thousands of times!"

"We like to make up our own stories," Rom tells her. "Stories about our friends and what it would be like if the world was different."

"Really?" Abnes seemed interested in the twins making stories up. She secretly hoped that some of their stories featured a prince and a princess. "What kind of stories have you made up?"

"Well not to brag," Ram said, bragging. "But we've made up stories about our friends having different personalities, like miss Plutia having her big personality swapped with her human one!"

As Ram kept talking, Rom tried to grab the game from Abnes's pocket. Unfortunately, the concept of the twins telling stories made Abnes move around in excitement, making it difficult for her to grab the game. "That's incredible! I'd love to hear it!"

"Maybe another time. We'd rather tell one about you," Ram told her. Maybe telling Abnes a story about herself would allow Rom to get the game back from her.

"Oh!" Needless to say, Abnes was surprised by their suggestion. "Well that's flattering girls, but what kind of story would you make about me?"

Rom and Ram grinned at each other with the perfect story idea for Abnes.

What if Abnes censored all of Gamindustri?

~Censored~

"Listen Abnes," Noire said at the large round table with Neptune, Vert, and Blanc sitting next to her. On the other end of the table sat Abnes, who has managed to get a bill passed censoring all offensive and inappropriate material in Gamindustri. She sat with a gleeful look on her face as Noire just glared at her, hands crossed and chin resting on them. "We need to talk about your bill."

"Oh? And what wondrous things it's done for Gamindustri?" Abnes was very excited for all the "good" that her bill had done for Gamindustri. Enforcing stricter censorship laws, adding more security to what people were viewing, funding more money into the police to ensure said laws were enforced. She couldn't be happier!

"Yes. And that's exactly what we need to talk about," Vert said. She pulled her now fully covered dresses neck collar, letting off some steam. "First of all, you can't expect me to wear this thing every time I'm outside in public." Vert had been forced to wear a binder for her large breasts, shrinking her impressive F-cup size down to a C-cup size. Needless to say, it's causing her some discomfort.

"I don't have a problem with that," Blanc said, enjoying in seeing the busty goddess actually being inconvenienced by her damned jugs. "But I do have to agree. Your laws are inconveniencing a lot of other people."

"How?" Abnes asked with an eyebrow raised. "How are my laws that you allowed to pass inconveniencing people?"

"Well for starters there's the choice of clothing you've had guild members forced to wear," Noire said.

"Yeah! Iffy doesn't even look like a girl anymore with your dress codes!" Neptune pipes in. "She's got even more girls falling for her now that she looks like a guy!"

"Well then I've got to fix that as well then," Abnes said. The four gave a sigh of relief at hearing this. "I've got to outlaw same sex marriages then as well." And now their sighs turned into gasps of fear.

"You can't do that!" Neptune yells out. "Think of the fans! What will they do without the yuri?"

"Forget the fans, Neptune!" Vert yells. "What about the yaoi? All of my stuff will be taken away!"

"Forget about your gay boys, Vert!" Noire yells out. "What about our sisters?" Everyone stops yelling and turns their attention to Noire. Sweating a little by the sudden attention, Noire coughed into her fist before continuing. "You know, because of… Uni and Nepgear… And you know they're… Well…" Everyone just stayed quiet as Noire kept fumbling her words. "W-Well you know!"

"Me thinks we've got a shipper in the room," Neptune says with a grin on her face.

"Well then that just means I need to put that law at the top of my priority list then," Abnes said, writing it down on her phone. "We can't let our goddesses set an example like that for the people! Think of the little girls! We can't let them see such indecent things!"

"Indecent?!" Noire yells at Abnes.

"Oh yeah! Speaking of indecent, I got you all some folios for your new goddess uniforms!" Abnes puts her phone away and pulls out a yellow folder and slides it across the table to the four. It stops halfway though, so Neptune had to stretch out on the table to grab it.

After getting it, Neptune opened it and took out the sketches. She handed the labeled sketches to the other three and they all looked at their respective redesigns. As they examined them, each of the goddesses made a face. Vert had an angry face, Blanc had an indifferent face, Noire had a surprised face, and Neptune had a confused face.

"What the hell is this?!" Vert was the first to speak up as she showed the sketch to everyone else. The sketch had her more covered up like Purple Heart's outfit, but the biggest change to it was her bust size. In the sketch, she was as flat as NISA. "How dare you suggest such an insulting thing! I can barely breathe in this thing right now! What makes you think I could fit into this?!"

During Vert's big explosion, Blanc was trying to giggle quietly. Key word being "quietly." She had never seen Vert get so mad over anything before, so seeing the big boobed goddess get upset over something like this was hilarious! She kept laughing as Vert yelled at Abnes, who didn't seem affected by Vert's yelling.

"Well that's simple really," Abnes said with a smirk on her face. "We just… Cut away the fat." Abnes made a snipping movement with her hands when she said that.

That made Blanc stop laughing entirely. Even if the thought of Vert being as flat as a board made her laugh, she thought that method was barbaric. Vert was frozen in horror at hearing what Abnes was suggesting to her beautiful breasts. She wanted to tear that smug grin right off of her face for suggesting such a disgusting method!

But before she could do anything, Blanc spoke up. "Well uh, I don't see much wrong with my design." Blanc was trying to ease the tension building up in the room but it didn't seem to be working.

"Well of course it wouldn't be a big deal for you, Blanc!" Vert yelled at her. "You don't have anything to lose other than-" Vert pulled the sketch out of Blanc's hands to look at it. White Heart's new design, compared to Vert's, barely had any changes at all. Other than covering up more skin, her design stayed the same. "What the hell!? You barely changed at all!" She looked at Noire and Neptune, who each held their respective sketches to their faces. Both of them tried to avoid eye contact with Vert, who pulled the sketches right out of their hands and looked at them. They also had the same design as Blanc's, fully covered and clothed, but with their breasts fully intact. "What the hell!? Why am I being singled out like this?!"

"Well you've been viewed as a sexual object for your people as of late, Lady Vert," Abnes told her. "And we can't let little girls see such depraved things, so I thought it best that we take care of this in the simplest way possible."

"Depraved!?" Vert snarled at Abnes.

Abnes just ignored Vert's anger and moved her attention to Blanc. "Oh, and speaking of little girls… I'd like to talk about your little sisters, Lady Blanc." Blanc looked confused at Abnes as Vert just glared at her. "Your treatment of your sisters has been… Shall we say… Poor."

Blanc now glared angrily at Abnes for what she said to her. "And what's wrong with how I treat them?" Vert, Neptune and Noire took a step back as Blanc started to give Abnes her trademark red eye of doom.

Abnes wasn't perturbed by Blanc's stare and continued talking. "Your treatment of them by repeatedly yelling at them and allowing them to do anything they want has set quite the poor example for your young followers. So, I decided to have them be taken to someone that knows how to handle them."

Blanc's eyes went wide hearing this. She really hoped what she heard was not true. She really hoped that Abnes did not just say that Rom and Ram were forcefully taken away from her. "Abnes," Blanc said, trying to stay calm. "Repeat what you just said."

"Oh, about me having Rom and Ram taken to another home to be properly rai-" Abnes didn't even get a chance to finish that sentence as Blanc had jumped over the table and grabbed Abnes's throat.

Vert, Noire and Neptune ran over to Blanc and tried to pull her off of Abnes, but she had a steel grip on her neck. "YOU BITCH! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME ROM AND RAM BACK RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA-"

Suddenly the door to the balcony opened, showing Rom in her goddess form. Everyone turned their attention to Rom, even Abnes who was still being strangled by Blanc. When Blanc saw Rom, she didn't know what to say. But Rom did. Rom was about to say something to all of them. Something important. Something inspiring. Something that would change their liv-

"Ram, quick! I got the game!"

~XOX~

Snapping out of it, Abnes realized that Rom had just taken the Mortal Kombat game from her dress pocket! "Hey! Give that back!"

"No way, meanie! This game is ours!" Rom said, holding the SLES game out of Abnes's reach. "Ram! Catch!" Rom tosses the game over at Ram, who catches it in the air.

"Got it!"

"You kids can't be playing a game like that! Give it back!" Abnes suddenly tackles Ram, making the two fall off the couch as they fought over the game. The sight made Abnes look like she was as old as the two, not that she already looked that way already. "Give it here! Little girls should be playing educational games instead of such disgusting games!"

"Ha ha ha!" Even as the two fought, Ram was actually enjoying it! Fighting Abnes was the most fun that she's ever had with the girl!

"I wanna play too!" Rom said, dog piling onto the two as they fought over the game.

"Gak!" Abnes was being crushed by the two as she fought for the game that had now fallen out of Ram's hands and onto the floor. The two were having more fun fighting Abnes instead of playing the game and were repeatedly falling on top of her and each other. As she was repeatedly being hit, Abnes finally grabbed the game. "Ah ha! I've got it!" She stood up as the two looked on in fear of what they allowed to happen. "Now to finally get rid of-"

Suddenly the game was snatched out of her hand by Blanc, who had just entered the room. Rom, Ram, and Abnes stood frozen upon seeing her. Blanc held the game and gave a blank stare at each of them. After a minute of silence, she spoke up. "And what are you three doing with a game like this?"

While Rom and Ram stayed quiet, Abnes decided to be the bigger g-woman, and answer Blanc's question. "Well, these two were playing an inappropriate game, so I decided to-"

"And who said you could come into my basilicom?" Blanc said, giving Abnes a mean stare. Her piercing gaze made all the color in Abnes's face disappear and she gulped. "Out. Now." Blanc gestured to the door behind her with her thumb. Abnes quickly took the hint and moved out the door as fast as her small feet could carry her. If anyone else was watching, it looked like Blanc had just sent a little girl crying to her mother.

After Abnes left, Rom and Ram let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks sis," Ram said to Blanc. "Abnes was being a real meanie."

"Yeah… Thanks sis," Rom said as well.

"Well I guess we should get going no-"

"Not so fast you two." Before Rom and Ram could make their tactical retreat, Blanc spoke up again. Looking up at their big sister, the twins gulped in fear. "Tell me where you two found this game. Or else."

"W-Well, uh… Y-You see…" Ram was trying to explain but the words just weren't coming out. Rom wasn't much help either, as she was giving her best 'I'm sorry for disobeying you, please don't throw us out of the basilicom' face to Blanc. Blanc just stared at the two with her brows furrowed as the two didn't know what to do. Not thinking, Ram snatched the game out of Blanc's hands and grabbed Rom's hand before running out the door. "Snatch and run!"

"Hey you little twerps! Get back here!" Blanc gave chase, summoning her hammer as her eyes turned red in anger.

"Keep running Rom! You know what Blanc is like when she gets mad like this!"

"Wh-What makes you think I'm going to stop?!"

The two spent the rest of the day being chased by Blanc before running into Financier and were grounded from playing games for a month. At least they managed to avoid telling Blanc they got the game from Mina's underwear drawer.

* * *

 **Again, sorry for the long wait. It takes a while to try to write these short stories in entertaining ways. Hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Author Candidate-James Scott: Glad you liked it! Your suggestion does make me think that it could work if Neptune and Vert's personalities switched, or if Neptune knew that Nepgear is actually her sister and tries to get her to be hers instead. I'll see if I can write it when I can.**

 **Guest: Sadie could be its own fanfic, and I am deeply considering it actually. For your suggestions, I'll need to play VII to get their personalities right, but I love the idea of Umio being a CPU, mainly because the title "CPUmio" sounds hilarious to me.**

 **NepIsLife: Glad you liked it!**

 **Ark: There was going to be a scene of the CPUs returning and seeing Iris fainted as the twins played, but I left it out. Probably would have been a better scene than the twins sipping wine. Again, sorry for how long these take despite how short they are. I try to make them as entertaining as I can for everyone's enjoyment.**

 **Leave a review or a suggestion for a short story if you'd like! Next time: Noire becomes a detective in "Noir!"**


	5. Noir

" _We now return to Bad Boys Two: Return of Jafar."_

" _So it's come to this! You're not winning this fight!"_

" _You're not as big as you think, broseph!"_

" _The only rock you're going to feel is the pavement!"_

" _Who the f*** is talking about a rock!? Are you insane?!"_

" _You're gonna flip the bill of a check, ya body candyass!"_

"Man, this detective movie is great," Ram said, munching on some popcorn.

"I know. It's so well written too," Rom said, also munching on the popcorn.

" _The bill? The food hasn't even come yet! You idiot!"_

The twins were invited over to Lastation's basilicom for their weekly movie night with Uni and Nepgear. As it was Uni's turn to choose a movie, she decided on a noir style film. Ram joked that she chose it because of its genre name, but was quickly hushed. The four sat next to each other on the couch, with Uni and Nepgear sitting next to each other on one end and Ram and Rom on the other.

"Nice choice for movie night Uni," Nepgear said with an arm wrapped around Uni's. "Where did you find it?"

Uni had trouble listening to Nepgear, due to her arm wrapped around Nepgear's, so Nepgear had to ask her again. Uni heard it that time and snapped out of her embarrassed and blissful state to answer her question. "O-Oh, uh, Noire had a bunch of noir movies like this stashed away in the closet. I thought it would be okay for me to use one for movie night." She was originally unsure about putting the movie on with it containing some swears, but figured that since they know Blanc they should be fine.

"Hmm…" Uh oh, Ram's thinking again. "Noire had a bunch of noir movies, you say? Wow, she must be a noir fan geek then!"

"That's funny," Rom said, giggling. "Noire's into noir? Guess she really likes herself then." Both of the twins giggled at the thought, and how funny saying Noire and noir in the same sentence sounded. Then a thought came to their heads. "Hey. If Noire has a bunch of noir movies…"

"And is a fan of noir…"

"And her name sounds like noir…"

"O-Oh! Rom! I've got an idea!"

What if Noire was a detective?

"Oh boy, here we go," Uni mumbled, pausing the movie and munching on popcorn as Nepgear sat in anticipation of hearing another one of the twins' stories.

~Noir~

Yaaaaaawn… Finally, I finished all of my work today, and the sun was still up. Well, it was actually setting more than staying up, but still the sun was visible. With all my work complete, I was finally able to relax. And everyone knows that the best way to relax is to cosplay! Well, maybe not everyone but I think it counts.

Every day, I dressed up in different outfits inspired by fictional characters. From anime, to games, to cartoons, I design outfits based on them and put them on. And yes, I made them all myself thank you very much. I even take photos of myself in them for photo albums. Oh, but I don't share them with anyone. It would be embarrassing if people knew I made and wore these things! I don't know how con goers do it…

Anyways, today I decided to go with an outfit based off of some old forgotten film genre. It sounded a lot like my name, so it peaked my interest. From what I found, a lot of the characters wore trench coats and fedoras and solved mysteries. Not many of the characters wore different things, but I really liked how it looked, so I decided to give it a try.

After sifting through my secret closet of outfits, I pulled out a tan trench coat and a tan fedora hat and placed them near the mirror that I set up. I grab a few more things, some black pants, a long sleeved white shirt and a long black tie. Good thing this outfit is simple. I really didn't want to risk poking myself with a needle for stitching the pants.

Minutes later, I admired myself in the mirror. Hmm… Not that bad really. Outfit's not that flashy, but I like the look. The big coat reached down to my feet and the tie really adds a center point of the outfit. Wait, that would mean people would be looking at my… Okay, maybe this outfit wasn't the best idea. I should really take this o-

"Noire I need your help!" Yipe! Neptune had just burst into my room without warning! Again! Doesn't she know what I do in my bedroom? No wait, that came out wrong. "Histy's gone missing and-" She stops talking and stares at me. Why is she doing that? What's wrong with how I-

"Gyah!" I'm still wearing my detective outfit! Quick! Behind the mirror! She won't look for me there!

"Oh, we're doing a noir story this time? Let me just get ready." Huh? Neptune grabs a purple feather boa out of my closet and walks back out of my room. I liked that boa. Well at least she's gone, now I can cha- "Detective Noire. I need your help."

"Oh for my sake Neptune, can you just get ou-" Oh Goddess, I think I'm going to bleed out. In Neptune's place was her goddess form Purple Heart. Except she was wearing that revealing dress from the peace summons with the feather boa around her neck. Not to mention she's walking towards me and swiveling her hips at me… Okay I need to get a tissue now lest my shirt gets stained.

Purple Heart leans down to look at me in the eye, making her dress fall down a little. Oh Goddess I need to stop focusing on those. Th-Them. That. "Histoire's gone missing, and I need some help in finding her."

I gulp down my built up stress and look at Purple Heart in the eyes this time. "W-What happened?"

"That's what I need you to find out." A flash of light shines and Purple Heart is replaced with Neptune, who proceeded to throw the boa away. "Come on! We need to get to Planeptune!"

"O-Okay, just let me change first." I start to remove my coat when Neptune suddenly grabs my wrist and pulls me out of my room. "H-Hey! I haven't changed yet!"

"Ah don't worry Noire. You need to dress the part for master detective for this story, so revel it while you can because no one writes stories about you on here!"

"W-What? Neptune! Wait!"

~XOX~

"Well here we are at Planeptune," Neptune said after dragging me all the way here. Both of us are currently standing in front of her basilicom that acts as her home. "Land of purple progress, pudding pies, and powerful posies." Neptune smiles for a few seconds before realizing something. "Oh no wait. That's what you're supposed to say. I'm supposed to be the lagomorph sidekick."

"What the hell are you on about Max? I mean Neptune?" I think I just made a thinly veiled reference to something. Don't know why. Geez, people are staring at me. They must think I'm a real creep for wearing this stuff outside.

"Come on Noire. I'll take you to the scene of the crime." Sheesh with how many times Neptune's pulled me around today, my arm might pop off. After a long ride up the elevator, we both reached the living area of the basilicom. I'm dragged again into the living room where Neptune finally lets the circulation in my hand continue. "Here's where it all happened."

"Uh… What happened?" I really couldn't tell if there even was a crime. Her living room looked the same as always. A big flat screen TV that was still on was connected to several game systems by cables that I don't even know what they connected to, a purple carpet that had pudding stains and bits of snacks scattered everywhere, and a four-person couch facing the TV. Ah, I remember sitting next to Neptune while we played games together on that couch. N-Not that I really enjoyed sitting next to her. I just liked the cushions on the couch… Th-They're… Soft.

"Didn't you hear me a few paragraphs ago?" Neptune asks, breaking some kind of wall again. "This is where Histy disappeared!"

"Are you sure she didn't just go out to get some more headache medicine for herself again?"

"No, this is different! She just disappeared! And I think…"  
"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Neptune, what are you doi-"

"She was kidnapped!" Gyah! She just yelled really loud in my ear! Goddess, if she made me go deaf I'll personally replace my ears with hers. "Oh, and I was building dramatic tension by the way."

I rubbed my ear as I glared at her. "Okay. How exactly did Histoire get kidnapped and why?"

"I'll tell you! Through wavy black and white filtered flashback monologue!" That's gonna be kind of hard in a written text format. Oh great, now she's got me doing it.

" _It was three in the afternoon, and I was playing some games with Nepgear and Plutia. 'Oh Neptune, you're so cool!' Plutie said."_ I really doubt she said that. _"'You're the best sister I've ever had," Nep Junior said to me."_ Okay now that sounds real. _"We were playing a racing game together when Pisty came in and started yelling at us. While Nepgear and Plutie were busy cowering from Histy's lecture, I crossed over the finish line and won the game! After that, I got up from my seat as Histy kept yelling at the others and I went into the kitchen to grab a pudding."_ Of course you would. _"After grabbing one, I went back into the living room and found that everyone had left. I sat down on the couch and ate my pudding in peace. That's when the realization hit me."_

"That you're eating too much of that stuff?"

" _No, that Histy wasn't there anymore. She always tries to take my pudding away when I eat it! I decided to look around the basilicom for her, but then I got tired so I grabbed another pudding and sat back down on my couch."_

"And then you thought that it would take too much work to find her so you flew to another nation and pulled me back here to find her for you?"

"Yep!" Ah, this idiot. Well, better see what I can do to help. She said she went to get some pudding then came back and everyone left. Maybe they had something to do with Histoire's disappearance?

"Where's Nepgear and Plutia? Maybe they know where she went."

"Good idea Noire!" Heh. Of course it was! It was my idea! "Let's go ask them!" And great, she's dragging me around again. At least it won't be as long this time.

~XOX~

I take it back. It was long. She forgot where her sister's room was again. Well at least we're here. Just need to knock on the door and-

"Nepgear we know you stole Histy! Cough her up!" And have Neptune kick the door down and yell at her. Great. Nepgear didn't even have a moment to react as Neptune ran over to her at her desk and grab her by the collar. "Confess!"

"W-W-W-W-What? I-I-I-I d-don't know what y-you're talking about!" Great, now she's flustered. Never a good thing to have a confused and scared Nepgear.

I rub my eyes and walk over to them before I grab Neptune by the back of her coat collar and pull her off of Nepgear and onto the bed. I then turn back to Nepgear and try to explain. "Nepgear, I'd like to ask you a few questions about what happened a few hours ago."

"H-Huh? N-Noting happened a few hours ago! H-Honest!" Geez she's being really defensive about this. Wait, is she working on something? I think I saw something move behind her back.

"Hey Nepgear. Are you working on something?" I ask her.

"N-No. W-What gave you that idea?"

"N… Nep…" Okay, there's definitely something behind her no- _WHACK!_ Dear Neptune I think she just hit it on the desk! Time to intervene! I grab what's behind her and hope I'm not too late to save Hi- "NEPGYA!"

"What what what what what what what what?" This isn't Histoire! It's some weird robot with Nepgear's face on it! Except it looks dumb like Neptune's dumb face. I stare wide eyed at this thing as it wiggles in my hand and Neptune and Nepgear seem as weirded out as me right now. Well Nepgear looks embarrassed more than surprised as she snatches it out of my hands and hides it behind her. "Wh-What the hell is that thing?"

"I-It's my new robotics project," Nepgear says looking down at it. "I left after playing games with Neptune and Plutia to work on it. Its… Not turning out that well." She brings it back out and the robot twitches its head in my direction. Eugh. I really don't like how it's looking at me. Stop staring at me with those big eyes!

I should really get back to focusing on the matter at hand here. Shaking my head, I look back at Nepgear and avoid any eye contact with the weird robot thing. "Nepgear, I want to ask if you've seen Histoire anywhere recently."

"Or if you've kidnapped her for one of your crazy cyborg fairy ideas!" Neptune accuses her, making Nepgear flinch.

"Neptune shush," I sternly tell the hyperactive monkey. No wait she said she was a rabbit. Or was it lagomorph? Is that a real word even? Hmm… Oh yeah, right now I need to listen to Nepgear.

"W-Well…" I feel like we're entering flashback territory again. _"Neptune, Plutia and I were playing one of Blanc's newly released racing games in the living room. Plutia was in the lead and I was behind her while Neptune was in last place."_ Weird. She told me that she was in the lead. _"I wanted to fall back to help her feel like she had a chance of winning when Histoire floated into the room. She started scolding us that we should be working instead of playing and Neptune got up in the middle of her conversation. I agreed that I should be working since I wanted to make some more progress on little Nepgya here."_ She picks up the little robot and holds it out to us. Oh, I'm not touching that thing again. I think it's going to haunt my nightmares. Wouldn't be the first time a Planeptune goddess haunted my dreams. Eugh… So much rope… _"So I left and went down to a nearby gadget shop to get some equipment then went straight into my room. I even have a receipt from the store if you'd like to see."_

I shake my head no. "No. I believe you Nepgear. Come on Neptune, let's go."

Nepgear lets out a sigh of relief as Neptune stands up from the bed. "Wait you're just going to leave it at that? Noire, she could have taken Histy for one of her crazy experiments!"

"Neptune, its Nepgear. Do you really think she could do something as out of character as that?"

"Well there was the conquest ending…"

"Let's go." I grab Neptune this time and pull her towards the door. As we leave, I turn around to see Nepgear give a small smile to me as she holds her small robot and make it wave its claw at me. Eugh, I think I heard it say 'smile.' Just go Noire, just go!

~XOX~

"Well, Nepgear didn't take Histy." No duh Neptune. "All that leaves now is Plutie!" she says in a matter of fact way with her finger in the air. She steps back a few feet from me before continuing. "I'll let you handle the accusation, Noire." Yeah, thanks for that.

Now where is Plutia? She couldn't have gone far with how sleepy she always is. I think she sleeps more than Neptune really. If that's even possible, but since we're talking about Plutia, it is.

"Snoooooore…" Huh? Did I just hear someone snoring? And did it come from the bathroom? "Snoooooore…" Yep. It did. Plutia fell asleep in the bathroom.

I knock on the door to try to wake her up. Nothing. I knock the door harder and Neptune steps back. Again, nothing. Okay, now I'm getting mad. I keep knocking on the door and I notice Neptune steps further away from me. Geez, Neptune. There's nothing to worry about.

"Hello?"

I mean Plutia sleeps like a rock that's thousands of miles deep under Gamindustri's crust.

"Noire?"

There's really nothing to worry abou-

"I'm getting mad now."

… Oh dear Neptune please don't be what I think it is. I turn my attention back to the door and see Plutia standing there with the door open and my knuckles placed on top of her head. She looks m… Mad…

"P-P-Plutia!" I jump back to try to get some distance but end up hitting the wall behind me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Neptune dart out of the hallway. "I'm so sorry! I-I was just trying to wake you up!"

"Oh you woke me up alright." A light fills the hallway and Iris Heart stands in front of me. N-Not good. "Now. What kind of punishment should I give you?"

Th-Th-Think Noire! You don't want your worst nightmares come to life! "I-I-I wanted to ask if you knew where Histoire went! N-Neptune says she's gone missing! D-Do you know where s-she might be?"

Iris glares at me as I just stand there, hoping that she doesn't pull out her whip. "Hmm… Let me see…" Oh thank me, she's focused on that! _"I was playing with Neptune and her sister Nepgear in the living room. I was really creaming them."_ In the racing game she means! In the game! _"Then Histy flew into the room in a huff. Oh, she was mad at us. She kept calling us lazy and irresponsible for not working. Sort of like my Histy, but she knows better."_ Well it is true actually. _"At some point in the conversation, Neptune got up and walked into the kitchen as Nepgear stood up and wandered off. Histy just kept yapping away at me. Saying that I should really take more pride in my work. And oh yes, I do take a lot of pride in my work. Mhm hm."_ Oh that is not a good chuckle. I should probably slowly move away now as she keeps talking. _"But just as I was about to show her how serious I can be, I had to use the bathroom. So I got up and left Histy alone. But when I sat down, I got really tired from the long walk so I fell asleep in there."_ It's a twenty foot walk, it's not that long. _"And that's when you started knocking and hitting me on the head. And now that my story's over, I think it's time for your puni-_ huh?"

"ThanksforthehelpPlutiaIcantellyoudidn'ttakeHistoiresoI'lljustbegoingnowbye!" I run down the hall and escape. Ha ha! No one violates Noire! No o-"Guhuh!" I fall on top of something and am surprisingly cushioned by something. Hmm… Round. Soft. Feels like a pillow. Where have I felt this before?

"Oh Noire. I never knew you were so forward."

Oh… Oh no… I look up from my cushion to see Iris Heart lying on the ground under me. And these cushions aren't cushions.

"I-I-I-" In a second, I'm suddenly under Iris Heart as she looms over me.

She licks her lips and smiles. "Why don't I return your advancements?"

That sentence breaks me and the next few minutes are a blur.

~XOX~

I find myself standing in the living room, coat hanging on my shoulder, shirt half way unbuttoned and hat about to fall off my head. I don't know what happened a few minutes ago and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.

Neptune walks in with a pudding cup in her hands and sees me. She stops dead in her tracks and I stare at her.

"Thanks for the help, idiot," I growl at her.

"Hey, you know what Plutie's like when she's mad," Neptune says with a smile on her face. "And I think you know all too well from the looks of it." I don't respond and just walk over to the couch as I think of what could have happened to Histoire.

Nepgear didn't take her as she went out to buy parts for her creepy robot. Plutia fell asleep in the bathroom while talking to Histoire. And Neptune looked around the entire basilicom but couldn't find her. Where could she possibly be?

"Eeeeep…"

What was that? I stand up and look around the room. Was that a mouse? An actual mouse instead of the abomination that whatever Warechu is? No. I don't think so. Planeptune may be a mess, but it's not that big of a mess. Guh, I really need to sit down and re-

"Eeeeep…"

Okay, I definitely heard that now. I stand back up and look around. Nothing but Neptune eating pudding at the kitchen doorway. Where could it be coming from? Hmm… I slowly sit back down and-

"Eeeeep…"

-Stand back up. I think it's coming from the couch. "Neptune," I ask as Neptune keeps gobbling down the pudding cup. "Are your couch springs broken or something?"

Neptune stops eating and looks at me confused. "No, it's the same foam cushioned couch as always." No springs? But then what's making the squeaking? I push my hand down on the couch cushion and-

"Eeeeep…"

-Pull the cushion off the couch, revealing Histoire and her tome nearly flattened under the cushion.

"Cak! Pah kak cough!" Histoire coughs up some dust as Neptune and I look at her in surprise. "Bleh! Thank you for finding me Noire. Ptoo! Bleh."

"Histy! I was so worried!" Neptune said in between bites of her pudding. She finishes eating and drops the pudding cup to pick up Histoire. "How did you get under there?"

"You sat on me!" Histoire yells at Neptune, almost making her drop the small fairy. I pick up her tome and hold it open for her to sit on. Neptune sets her on the book and she floats a few steps away to look at us. Geez she's angry. I don't know what's worse, an angry Histoire or Iris Heart.

"Histoire, how did you get under the couch?" I ask.

Histoire takes a deep breath in and out before she answers. _"I had noticed that work on recent projects held by all Planeptune CPUs had slowed down, so I decided to investigate. That was when I saw Neptune, Nepgear, and Plutia playing a game in the living room. I decided to intervene and tell them how important it is for CPUs to keep working when Neptune got up in the middle of my conversation to the kitchen. I wanted to go and scold her when Nepgear said that she had to go to the store before it closed and left. And then Plutia left when she said she needed to go to the bathroom. I really wanted to give them all a piece of my mind and decided to wait in the living room for them all. I flew down onto the couch to wait for them all to return when Neptune walked in with some pudding. I was just about to fly up and smack it out of her hands when she suddenly sat on me! Fortunately, I fell through the side of the cushions with my tome but I ended up underneath it when she got up. I spent maybe a few hours under there until I was nearly squished to death again! Most likely by Neptune again."_ Histoire gives Neptune a sneer and I can see Neptune about to speak up. I nudge her with my shoulder to make her stop as I give her a sneer. _"And then you saved me from a cushiony death Noire. I thank you for that."_

"Oh no need to thank me! I only do everything!" I say with a smile on my face. Finally, I'm done with this ridiculous day. Although it was kind of fun solving a mystery of sorts. I might actually want to try it agai-

"Noire, might I ask why you are wearing a detective outfit?" Histoire asks me.

"KYAAAAAAAH!" Nope! Forget it! I never want to do this again!

~XOX~

"The end!" Rom and Ram said at the same time with a smile on their faces. Nepgear gave a small clap to the two as Uni gave them a bored look.

"Wow! You two are really good with your stories!" Nepgear praised the two.

"T-Thank you, miss Nepgear," Rom said, blushing a bit from the praise.

"Of course! We're great story writers!" Ram said, enjoying the praise.

"Yeah, yeah, it was fun with how you mocked my sister," Uni said in a grumbled voice.

"Oh come on Uni. It was a fun story, wasn't it?" Nepgear asks, smiling at Uni.

"Uh, y-y-yeah. I-I guess it was fun, if y-you say so," Uni stuttered, sweating a little. Uni lets out a cough before continuing. "N-Now can we continue with the movie now?"

"Oh yes, of course," Nepgear said, snuggling back next to Uni again. Uni fumbled with the remote a bit until she managed to press play. The twins just rolled their eyes at the two as they all continued to enjoy their movie night together.

* * *

 **And that's Noir folks! Hope you enjoyed it as it was pretty difficult to write, but I hope you got a few good laughs out of it.**

 **NepisLife: Thanks for the offer, but I prefer Blanca-Cola over Nep Bull.**

 **Ark: Glad you liked Censored and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. For your suggestion, I like it since you don't really see the CPU Candidates trying to run the country in any stories or even in the games, from how far I've gotten into Re;Birth MK2 currently. I'll add it to my list and see about writing it at some point.**

 **PsychoPony777: Glad you liked both of the chapters! I really like the idea of Neptune and Noire's personalities switching and I think it would be a fun read! I already had that idea listed for future use so I'll include you being mentioned as someone that suggested it.**

 **Your Everyday NEET: The world would be doomed if Censoredindustry became a reality. Histoire deciding to abandon Neptune to try to become a different nations Oracle would be pretty funny with how her expectations of the other CPUs would contrast with her ideals.**

 **Sound Dash Productions: Glad you like them! The Plutia/Sadie story is my favorite as well and was fun to write! Hope you enjoyed this one!**

 **Author Candidate-James Scott: Glad you liked Censored! I was really concerned that it would be unlikable compared to the other stories but I'm glad you found it hilarious! Your what if for Uni having a boyfriend sounds funny with all the other characters becoming interested in finding out who it is exactly and Nepgear's relationship with Uni. I'll add that to the list!**

 **Kaiyo no Umi: Just gonna say thank you for liking and following this one-shot series! I love your stories and they were a big inspiration for the first chapter! Your suggestions all sound funny and fun to write! I really like the idea of Noire being more honest or confronting to Neptune since I think it would be hilarious if she talked back to Neptune about her saying she has no friends and ask Neptune what she is then. I'll be adding these to my list and see about writing them in the future! Hope you look forward to more of these in the future!**

 **Hope you all enjoyed Noir! Leave a review if you did or if you found it a bit weaker than the previous ones! I love hearing your feedback! Also, I'm going to be working on putting more of these short stories out in the future instead of once a month so look forward to more of these coming soon!**

 **Next time, a suggestion by KuletxCore where Rom and Ram become Blanc's older sisters' in "Candidate Blanc!"**


	6. Candidate Blanc

**Story suggested by KuletXCore.**

"No, no, for the thousandth time, no." Blanc was walking through the basilicom as Rom and Ram followed behind her. Rom held a flier for the newly released R-Rated movie "Nepool" as Ram tried to convince Blanc in taking them to go see it. It's not going that well for them.

"C'mon Blanc! Everyone else is going to go see it!" Ram said as she walked alongside Blanc on her right.

"E-Even miss Nepgear and miss Uni are going to see it," Rom said on Blanc's left.

Blanc just groaned at that fact. Nepgear and Uni had mentioned that they were seeing the movie during the four's weekly meetup which sparked Rom and Ram's interest in the movie. Blanc didn't even know why Neptune and Noire allowed those two to go see it together? Aren't they still kids?! No wait, they're goddesses, so technically they're not. Although, Rom and Ram are goddesses but look like kids. Wait, what are their canon ages again? Is it even mentioned in the-

"Blanc? Blanc!"

Blanc snapped out of her thoughts before she ended up walking into her office door. Rom and Ram still stood next to her as Blanc let out a sigh and entered the office. Her office was more of a ball room with only her computer and chair in the center and some cushioned benches near the large walls. Both Financier and Mina wondered why Blanc uses the room as her office. Only Rom and Ram knew why, and that was so she could use the floor to spread out her story scripts.

Blanc sat at her desk as the two kept clamoring around her.

"C'mon Blanc! Let us see the movie!"

"W-We promise to be very quiet in the theatre!"

"Grrrrr…" Blanc couldn't get the two to shut up about it! She was nearly going to blow a gasket when a brilliant idea popped into her head. She turned around in her swivel office chair and looked at the twins. "Listen you two, I want you to think about this for a moment. You two are too young and impressionable for a movie like that. Now, I want you two to put yourselves in my position. If you were the elder sisters and I asked to go see that movie, would you say yes?"

The two tikes stood and thought for a second before they gave Blanc their answer.

"I… I don't know," Ram said as she thought. "I don't really see you as someone willing to try new things."

"Yeah, you usually keep it safe," Rom commented. "Like with reading…"

"Not letting us try new things…"

"Writing the same stories over and over…"

"Not letting us go anywhere…"

Every sentence the two spoke, the arm rests on Blanc's chair snapped and creaked. She was about ready to pull out her hammer and give these two a spanking they'd never forget!

"Hey Rom." But before Blanc could stand up, Ram spoke up. "What do you think about Blanc's suggestion?"

"That we're the older sisters while she's the young one?"

"Yeah! Like, what if that was actually real?"

"Also, what if Nepgear and Uni were the bigger sisters also?"

"Ooh, what about Vert? What if she got involved?"

"Yeah! What if…"

What if Rom and Ram were the CPUs and Blanc was the Candidate?

"W-Wait, what?" Blanc asked, confused by the two's questions.

~Candidate Blanc~

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"Ram, for the last time, no!" Rom yelled out at her sister as they flew to the meeting spot. The co-goddess Ram grumbled to herself, crossing her arms under her ample chest as Rom flew beside her as she held their younger sister Blanc in her arms.

The twin goddesses ruled over the snowy land of Lowee together. While many would argue that having two goddesses would cause a war between them, the two had managed a way to coexist. Rom, the wiser and kinder of the two, was in charge of the nation's finances and laws. Ram, the more excitable and risk taking of the two, was left with rule over the government and monster questing. As the two looked alike, many have humorously made the mistake that Lowee only had one goddess. However, that statement may ring true in the future.

As not long ago, a few years maybe, a new candidate was born to the nation of Lowee. Just around the same time as new candidates were born in the other nations. For Lowee, the two were gifted with little Blanc. Compared to her sisters, Blanc was like the strange amalgamation of the two of them mashed together into a small, three-foot-tall girl in a zipped up white coat with a poofy white cap on her head. But compared to her taller sisters, Blanc stayed quiet and kept to herself with her books. She was never one to go out and make friends, so when a meeting between all of the goddesses was called, Rom and Ram thought it would be the perfect way for her to make some friends!

Planeptune's basilicom soon came into view and the two touched down on the balcony and transformed from their goddess forms back into their human forms, turning their one piece suits into long unzipped winter coats colored blue and pink for Rom and Ram respectively, along with white dresses underneath. Rom set Blanc down on the ground, and the young girl pulled out a small notebook and a pencil and wrote something down. It seemed to have calmed her down from the flight.

A second later, the balcony door opened and out ran a small purple haired girl in a too large white jacket. "Yay! Auntie Rom and Ram are here!" The little girl ran up and hugged Ram's legs. Ram petted the little girl as Blanc stepped behind Rom and wrote something down again.

"N-Neptune! Don't run out on the balcony!" Another girl ran out the door and caught her breath. It was Nepgear, the nervous and socially awkward CPU of Planeptune. She wore a white dress shirt with a small purple long sleeved coat over it and a purple skirt with long white and blue stripped stockings on her legs. After catching her breath, she walked over to Neptune, who was being patted by Ram, and gently pulled her away from Ram. "S-Sorry about that. Neptune always gets excited whenever Ram's around."

"That's because she knows I'm the best goddess around!" Ram boasted. Rom and Blanc rolled their eyes at her.

"Yeah!" Neptune nodded. "Auntie Ram always takes me out on adventures! She's the coo-huh?" Neptune's attention turned to the writing girl behind Rom, who kept writing things down. Neptune tried to walk over to her, but Nepgear's grip on her stopped that from happening.

"W-Well I'm still sorry about that! Histoire's trying to teach her how to be a good little girl right now, but she's still quite a handful," Nepgear apologized again. As Neptune kept trying to break away from Nepgear, the taller girl noticed something missing. "Have you two seen Uni and Noire anywhere?"

"No."

"Nope!"

Blanc didn't respond but loudly wrote something short as her answer.

"I'm here! I'm here!" In the distance was a short girl in a black two piece flying towards the balcony as she held a girl that was gripping for her life. Due to her speed, the girl nearly fell over when she landed but recovered. "I'm here! Don't get your panties in a bunch!" The short girl transformed into an equally short girl in a black dress that hugged her figure. This girl, Uni, was a head shorter than the other CPUs and was always mad about that. At least her slightly curvaceous figure showed that she was as old as the rest of them. Didn't stop her constant rage. Uni set down an even shorter girl, her sister Noire. The young black and white frilly dressed girl dusted herself off as she noticed the attention was all directed to her. As she nearly had a panic attack from it, Neptune broke away from Nepgear and lunged at her.

"Noire! My faithful sidekick!" Neptune tackled the poor girl to the ground and proceeded to nuzzle her. "How ya been pal?"

"N-N-N-N-N…" Noire couldn't talk back as she was still reeling from the tackle and the physical contact.

"Get off of my sister, Neptune!" Uni demanded as she pulled her off of Noire. She handed Neptune back to Nepgear as Noire proceeded to get up by herself. "Sheesh, Noire's never going to be a respectful CPU if she keeps hanging out with that menace."

"Ppth!" Neptune blew a raspberry at Uni as Noire looked apologetic to her sister. Uni wanted to give the kid a piece of her mind until Nepgear spoke up.

"W-Well, why don't we all go inside now?" Nepgear suggested. Everyone agreed and proceeded to enter the basilicom when Rom spoke up.

"Oh, has anyone seen Vert yet?"

"Chika's bringing her," Nepgear answered. "They'll be here soon."

~XOX~

At the entrance to the basilicom, a lime green limousine arrived. Exiting the doors was Chika, Leanbox's Oracle and current leader as she tried to pull out another passenger by hand.

"Come… On, Vert!" Chika said as she pulled the teen out of the limo. "A goddess can't skip a meeting just because she has games to play!"

"But I don't even go to the meetings!" Vert complained. The blonde haired, white shirted and green skirted flat teenager grumbled as she was finally pulled out of the limo and stood up. "It's just you going to the meetings! Meanwhile, I'm stuck with watching the annoying kids!"

"Oh? Do you want to go to the boring meeting instead?" Chika slyly asked.

Vert glared at her black dressed and green haired guardian before pulling out a LS NOWA and turned it on. "I'll stay with the kids…" she grumbled as she walked to the front door as she played with the system. Chika smiled as she followed behind and knocked on the door.

" _Oh! Oh! Is that Vert?"_

" _Neptune, please go to the living room while I greet them."_

" _Yeah! But don't touch my sister, you hear me brat?"_

" _You can't tell a hero what to do! Come on Noire! Let's go play mountain climbers!"_

" _S-S-Sure…"_

" _Come on Blanc. Ram and I will take you to the living room."_

"Seems like everyone's here," Chika commented. Vert didn't even look up.

The door was soon opened by Nepgear who proceeded to greet them. "Hello, miss Chika! Little Vert!" Chika gave Nepgear a smile as Vert kept playing her game. "Little Vert?" Nepgear leaned closer to the young girl who kept ignoring the CPU. "Vert?" Nepgear had now brought her face one inch away from Vert's. Vert started sweating as she kept trying to focus on the game until Chika stepped in.

"W-Why don't we go and start the meeting?" Chika asked as she pushed in between the two. Nepgear, not understanding what she did wrong, stood up and nodded. Vert followed Chika as Nepgear shut the door behind them.

"We're having the meeting upstairs," Nepgear said, pointing to the spiraling staircase that lead to the upper floors. "Neptune and Noire are in the living room. Please keep an eye on them, Little Vert!"

"Fine." Vert grumbled as she walked to the living room, leaving Chika and Nepgear. As she walked through the hallways to the room, she notices Lowee's CPUs talking to a little girl.

"Now Blanc. If you feel uncomfortable, you can leave the living room and take a breather," Rom told Blanc. "If you feel nervous, don't be afraid to come upstairs and talk to us."

"And if you feel like Neptune's getting on your nerves, punch her!" Ram said. Rom turned to her and gave her a mean stare. "What? Neptune can take a punch!"

Rom just shook her head as she looked back at Blanc. "You going to be okay, Blanc?" Blanc didn't seem to be listening, but nodded her head. Rom gave her a small smile and hugged her. "Good. Now have fun!" Rom stood up and walked with Ram back to the entrance hall as they both passed Vert.

Vert pushed against the walls to avoid touching the two as they passed. She was always intimidated by the two, with their strong powers and being able to run a nation together. She didn't know whether to be inspired by the two or be frightened. Shaking off the feeling, she turned back to the door to the living room, where the little white coated girl stood. She was watching Rom and Ram leave with a blank face. After they left, Blanc took out her small notebook and walked into the living room.

Vert followed, not knowing what to think of the girl, and saw Neptune climbing the long purple curtains as Noire stood below her.

"Come on, Noire! Let's climb Saturn Mountain! And defeat the evil Segata monster!" Neptune declared as she held a toothpick umbrella in her hand and gripping the curtain in the other.

"N-N-Neptune… I-I don't think Nepgear would like us climbing her curtains," Noire stuttered below the purple girl, scared at the thought of being caught again.

"Uni would like it," Neptune said with a grin. "She'd think you were cool that you climbed high and conquered the mighty beast of Saturn Mountain!" Hearing the idea of her older sister being proud of her for once, Noire started to climb up until Vert spoke up.

"Alright you two! Off the curtains!" she yelled at the two. Noire went wide eyed as Neptune gave a big smile.

"It's Vert! Look Noire, its Vert!" Neptune let go of the curtains and fell down on top of Noire. Unperturbed, Neptune hopped back up and ran over to Vert. "Noire! Vert's here! We can go on a real adventure now!" Noire just grumbled as she stood back up and dusted herself off.

"No. We're not going on another 'adventure' Neptune," Vert sternly told Neptune. She never did like the energetic girl, thinking that the world was a game and that she was the hero. Noire was just as bad, being dragged behind by Neptune to join in on some dangerous escapade the purple haired girl thought of. "We're staying inside today."

"You can't tell a hero what to do!" Neptune declared. "Noire, back me up here!"

"Y-Yeah," Noire said weakly. "Y-Y-You can't tell N-Neptune what to do!"

"No, but I can tell Uni," Vert threatened. That got both of them to shut up. If there was anything worse than being scolded by Vert, it was being scolded by the rough ruler of Lastation. "Heh. Now I want you two to just sit and keep quiet. I've got a dating route to finish." Vert turned to the couch and saw Blanc sitting down as she wrote in her small notebook. Vert didn't know what to make of the kid, but she was quiet. For now, at least.

Vert sat next to Blanc as Neptune and Noire turned to the many game systems lined neatly under the large screen TV. The two ended up choosing a racing game and sat down on the carpet as they started to play together.

"I'm going to be… Soniqua!"

"T-Then I'll be… Bailey!"

"You can't be a hero, Noire! Even as one as lame as the egg roller!"

Vert drowned out the two's talk as she kept playing her dating sim game. She was currently trying to snag a date with a cute 2D boy when she heard pencil scratches. Curious, she turned her head to Blanc, who seemed to be writing down something.

"Hey kid," Vert spoke to Blanc. "Whatcha writing there?" Blanc didn't respond and kept writing. "Kid. What are you writing?" That got a reaction. Blanc stopped writing and turned to Vert. She gave the teen a blank stare and shut her notebook. "Can I see what you were writing?" Blanc just stared before turning back to her book and wrote something down. Vert really didn't like that. She wanted to show this kid who's boss and take her notebook from her! No one ignores Vert!

But before she could take it, Neptune stood up and hopped over to Blanc. "Hey new kid! Wanna play with us?" Blanc gave another blank stare before turning her head away. "Come on! It's not every day you get to play with a hero as great as me!" Blanc didn't respond and kept her head turned away from Neptune. This got Neptune mad. She climbed up on the girl and started pulling her by the arm. "Come on, you! We're… Playing… Together!" Blanc was starting to get mad. Her pencil started to snap and her eyes started to turn red. Vert didn't know whether to stop Neptune or let the annoying brat get her comeuppance.

"Eek!" A sudden shout snapped all three of their attention to Noire, who was pointing out the window at something. "D-D-D-D-D-D-"

"Noire!" Neptune let go of Blanc and ran over to Noire. Blanc looked down at her arm that Neptune pulled on with her blank stare. Vert couldn't be sure but it looked like Blanc was going to cry for some reason. "Noire! What did you see, sidekick?" Back to Neptune, she shook Noire by the shoulders, making it harder to understand what the girl was saying.

"D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-"

"What is it? Dragon? Destroyer? Gasp! Did a CPU Destroyer come to kill us all?" Neptune was beaming at her so called sidekick! She was really hoping to fight some big danger!

"D-D-D-Dogoo!" Neptune's arms slid off of Noire's shoulders as Vert turned her attention to the girl. Blanc even looked up, still looking like she was going to cry or not. Noticing that everyone's attention was on her again, Noire physically shook like she was on a roller coaster. "I-I-It's real! Th-Th-There's a Dogoo ou-ou-outside!" Vert stood up and walked over to the sliding door and pulled the curtains back. She saw a blue dogoo waddling about in the basilicom's backyard. "S-S-S-S-See?! I-I-I'm not ly-ly-lying this time!"

"Gasp! A real dogoo!?" Neptune pressed her face against the glass door. "This is just the break I need to become a hero like Auntie Ram!"

"No! No!" Vert said, pulling Neptune away from the door. "You're not going to go fight a monster! I'm going to go upstairs and get Nepgear! She'll take care of it! I'm not going to get scolded again for your stupid schemes again, Neptune!" As Vert turned to the door, she noticed Blanc was about to leave to go upstairs as well.

While she wondered why the small girl was about to leave, Vert heard the door to the backyard open as Neptune cried out, "Fear me, Dogoo! My mighty sword skills shall leave you a crimson stain on our luxurious back yard as a sign of warning for other monstrous evil doers!"

"Oh no no no no," Vert sweat as she saw Neptune bound outside with Noire following behind. As for Blanc, she was on her way out the door to go upstairs. Vert had to think quick. Go upstairs to get the adults or go and stop those twerps from injuring themselves? She decided on the later and quickly grabbed Blanc by the arm and ran outside.

Outside, Neptune was holding her wooden sword and slinging insults at the dogoo. "Hear me, blue snot dollop! I am Neptune! The greatest hero that's ever existed in Gamindustri from now to the end times! Fear me!" The dogoo just ignored Neptune as it continued to munch on fallen leaves. "Noire, back me up here!"

"O-Oh. S-Sure." Noire was at the side lines wielding a tree stick as her weapon. "Y-Y-You better listen to Neptune, you… D-Dragon Quest slime knockoff. Or else she'll N… 'Nep' you up. Oh goddess that sounds lame…" Noire said that last part quietly as Neptune gave her a thumbs up. As Noire smiled at the small praise, the dogoo turned its attention to the small leaves on Noire's tree branch weapon and started waddling over to her. Noire's reaction to the approaching monster was to scream at the top of her lungs, throw her arms in the air, and run away as it followed behind her.

"Good job Noire!" Neptune said to the scared girl running circles around the yard. "You've got its attention! Now just stay still so I can kill it and be praised as the hero I am!"

"AAAAAAH!"

"No, Noire! I told you to stay still, not to keep running away from it!"

At this point, Vert and Blanc entered the scene. Vert still had a grip on Blanc's arm, making the small girl tense up. As Blanc tried to take out her notebook to calm herself, Noire ran past with the dogoo behind her.

"Noire! What are you doing?" Vert asked the running girl.

"Well I can tell you what she's not doing!" Neptune yelled at Vert. "She's not being a good sidekick! Noire, you just need to stop so I can kill it! Stop running!"

"DYAAAH!" Noire wasn't listening as she ran past Vert and Blanc again, dropping the tree branch in front of Blanc as she passed. Vert then noticed the dogoo was now moving towards her and Blanc, who had finally managed to pull out her small notebook. Not thinking, Vert let go of Blanc and jumped back as the dogoo slid over the branch and enveloped Blanc's torso. Blanc and everyone else froze as the slime slid around her. Fortunately, the dogoo left Blanc standing there with no harm done. As Vert, Neptune and Noire let out a sigh of relief, Blanc still stood frozen. The little notebook she held was now being nibbled on in the dogoo's mouth!

No one took notice as Vert moved past the still girl to Neptune to pull her back inside. Noire walked back to the sliding door as Vert and Neptune argued about the monster, but stopped when she noticed Blanc still wasn't moving.

"U-Uh… L… Lowee's candidate?" Noire wasn't told Blanc's name. "A… Are you okay?"

Blanc didn't respond. On the outside, Blanc didn't show any emotion. But on the inside, Blanc was about to snap. Being pulled around, having Rom and Ram leave her, and now her only solace being eaten by a monster. She didn't know whether to cry, lash out, or scream.

"L… Lowee's candidate?"

She decided on doing all three.

In a split second, Blanc jumped at the dogoo as she screamed at the top of her lungs. Vert and Neptune turned to the sound and were quickly covered head to toe in dogoo slime. In the dogoo's place was Blanc, curled into a ball as she held her torn notebook to her chest and crying. Near the door stood Noire, who was possibly traumatized by what she just saw.

"Blanc!" At the back door was Rom, along with all the other adults that ran down when they heard the scream. Rom ran over to Blanc as Ram and everyone else followed behind. Rom and Ram crouched down next to Blanc and worked on calming her down. "It's okay Blanc, it's okay! We're here now!"

"Don't worry Blanc! D-Don't worry! Ram and Rom are here now!"

"My goodness, what happened here?" Nepgear asked. Uni was checking to see if Noire was okay as Chika tried to wipe the slime off of Vert.

"I'll tell you what happened!" Neptune excitedly said, spitting slime out of her mouth. She ran over to Blanc and pointed at her. "Blanc destroyed a dogoo in a single second! She was like FWOOSH and the dogoo was like AAAAH, or maybe that was her, but either way…" Neptune swooped down and picked up the terrified Blanc to her feet. "Blanc was a hero! Three cheers for Blanc! Hip hip!"

"AAAAAAUGH!"

"No Blanc, it's supposed to be 'hooray'! Try it again! Hip hip!" Blanc removed herself from the slimy girl and ran over to Rom and Ram to cry in their shoulders. The two hugged her as Neptune looked on in confusion. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No Neptune," Nepgear said as she walked over to clean off Neptune. "Blanc's just… A different kind of girl. She writes in her little notebook to calm herself and isn't used to touching people. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was hoping that you would understand on your own." Both of the Planeptune CPUs looked on as Rom and Ram calmed down Blanc and were apologizing to her as well.

"Oh, so she's kind of like Noire with being quiet and like Vert with her not wanting us to touch her when she's playing her games?" Neptune asked.

"Y… Yeah, like that," Nepgear responded.

"Okay then!" Neptune, who had now had the slime wiped off of her, walked over to the Lowee CPUs and approached Blanc. "Blanc!" The loud sound made Blanc flinch, which Neptune realized immediately. "Oops. Uh, Blanc… I apologize if my awesomeness made you scared, but I hope that we can be friends!" Blanc didn't respond to Neptune. "Umm… Should I offer a handshake or..?"

"Sorry Neptune, but Blanc just needs to calm down for a while," Rom responded as she picked Blanc up in her arms. Neptune's eagerness with making a new friend was replaced with worry about her hating her until Ram patted Neptune on the head.

Neptune looked up at Ram. "Auntie Ram. Does Blanc hate me?"

"Nah Nep," Ram answered as she crouched down to Neptune's height. "I doubt Blanc hates you, but I think she appreciates you wanting to be her friend. But I think you should tone down the heroics around her for a bit until she warms up to you." Neptune looked down again. "But that doesn't mean you should stop." Neptune looked back up at Ram. "A hero should be considerate of others and help make them feel comfortable around them, and I think you should work on helping Blanc feel comfortable around you. Like you did with Noire."

Neptune turned to look at Noire, who had been cleaned up and left alone as Uni was trying to clear things up with Nepgear. Neptune got a smile on her face and looked back at Ram. "I understand! Thanks auntie Ram!" Neptune gave Ram a hug and ran over to Noire. "Come on Noire! Let's go check on Blanc!" Neptune grabbed Noire by the hand and walked back into the basilicom with the nervous girl.

"Wuh? Hey!" Uni called out. "Neptune! Stop dragging my sister around!"

"Ah, don't worry Uni," Nepgear said as she stood next to Uni. "I think those two will be fine." Nepgear wrapped an arm around Uni before looking at her in the eyes. "Don't you?"

Uni became flustered and pushed Nepgear's arm off of her before responding. "Yeah, I… Guess so." After that, the day ended with everyone going home and Neptune and Noire making a new friend.

~XOX~

"The end!" the two said, finishing the story.

Blanc was lying back in her chair as she listened to the two's story. "So that's what you think I'd be like if I was a candidate?" Blanc asked as she sat back up.

"Well yeah," Ram said back. "That was why we made up the story."

"We just thought of you in a different way instead of just making you smaller," Rom responded. "I-If that was okay."

Blanc just sighed and shook her head as she turned around to face her computer. "No, it was fine. Just didn't think you'd make me autistic."

"Huh?" The twins tilted their heads in confusion at Blanc. Blanc shook her head again as the two returned back to their original question. "Soooooooo… Can we go see Neppool Blanc? Can we, can we?" Rom and Ram got close to Blanc as they asked.

"Oh, sorry girls. But it seems like the movie just ended," Blanc said as she pulled up the Verdango page for the movie, showing that all air times for it have ended for the day. The two slid off the chair's arms and laid on their backs in despair. "Maybe you can see it next time." The two jumped back up as Blanc realized what she just said.

"So is that a yes? Can we see it tomorrow?"

"Please Blanc, please?"

"Grah, no means no!"

* * *

 **This story is similar to how I wrote "Sadie the Gentle Goddess" in a way. Light on jokes, but more on working with giving the characters' different personalities. Was kind of fun really. Hope you all enjoyed it!**

 **Also for deciding to write Blanc as autistic in this story, I just got that vibe from her character. I thought it would be a nice change in her character. I was also inspired by Blade of Justice's version of her in "Year of the Ram" for how to write my CPU candidate Blanc and how to avoid her being similar to how they wrote Blanc.**

 **HDNeptunia: Oh man, I really love this idea and I'm ashamed I didn't think of it before! I can already think of a hilarious scenario for a male Uni and Nepgear together! Adding this to my list!**

 **PsychoPony777: Case: Noire! The movie! No tiny Blanc with a hammer in this story, but I hope you found my interpretation of Blanc okay.**

 **NepisLife: Still prefer Blanca Cola, but having one couldn't hurt! Send it on over!**

 **Ark: Yeah, Noir didn't really live up to my expectations and could afford a rewrite, but I'm glad the Histoire joke ended up well! While I don't plan on doing all the suggestions, I don't want to discourage people from sending in their suggestions for hilarious and creative story ideas. So even if you think your story won't be chosen, I still love hearing everyone's ideas!**

 **KuletXCore: Glad you liked Noir and I hope you liked Candidate Blanc as well! I haven't played VII yet, but I like the idea of Uzume becoming a greater evil or her valley personality becomes contagious and Kurome begrudgingly joining the CPUs to stop her.**

 **If you liked Candidate Blanc, leave a review! Next time, a suggestion by neppit user PovilusSamogithis, MAGES. undercovers a cola conspiracy in "Doc P, Doc P, Give Me the News!"**


	7. Doc P, Doc P, Give Me the News

**Story suggested by reddit user PovilusSamogithis.**

"Wheeeee!"

In one of Lowee's grocery marts, Nooks Goods, were the twin terrors of Lowee.

"Wooohooo!"

They had traveled to one of Lowee's local grocery marts with Mina to buy some food.

"Wahooooo!"

Needless to say, the two had begun to cause some trouble in the store as they were racing each other in shopping carts.

"Wahahahaha!"

"Ram, look out!"

 _CRASH!_

And making a huge mess. The two had drove straight into the soda isle and had knocked several cans and packs of soda off the shelves, coating the isle and themselves in caffeinated syrup.

"Eeeew," Rom whined as she sat up from the crash, shaking her soda covered arms. Ram was busy licking herself clean.

"Hey Rom! My hand tastes like Nepsi!"

"Dear children, please do be more careful," a wise sounding voice said to the two. Rom and Ram looked up to see the white coated, gear hatted and mole cheeked MAGES., who held a shopping basket in one arm. "You could disrupt my search for Doc P."

"Oh! Have you found any?" Ram asks as she licks herself like a cat.

"Not yet I'm afraid," the mad magician responded flatly. "It appears that the Organization has taken all of the Doc P in this dimension as well."

"Hey miss MAGES.," Rom speaks up. "What exactly does this 'organization' do exactly?"

"Yeah, you never told us that," Ram said as she sucked on her dress.

"Like, why do they want Doc P anyways?"

"Are they using it for something?"

"Is it just their favorite drink?"

MAGES. looked down at the two soda covered, question asking twins. "Unfortunately I do not know. The Organization has kept its tracks clean, and I have no idea why they desire my favorite beverage." MAGES. thought that was a good enough answer for the two sticky twins.

"Lame." Apparently it wasn't, according to Ram's response. "That explanation stinks!"

"Y… Yeah," Rom mumbled, agreeing with her sister.

"You know what?" Ram said as she stood up, her boots making a squishing sound with each step she took. "Why don't we make a story why this organization want's this dumb soda?"

"Yeah Ram," Rom said as she also stood up. "Also, who do you think would be in charge of it?"

"Ooh! That's a good idea! And what if MAGES. actually found them?"

"I fear that you two are going to go off on some kind of tangent," MAGES. responded as she tried to ignore the two and grab a drink to satiate her carbonated quest.

"Oh you bet we are!" Ram cheered as she grabbed MAGES. by her hand.

What if MAGES. found the Organization?

~Doc P, Doc P, Give Me the News~

Fifty dimensions. Fifty dimensions she had travelled to, and fifty of them didn't have any Doc P. Her favorite drink in the entire multiverse was nowhere to be found. But she knew. The mad magician MAGES knew who took them. The Organization.

No one knows who or what the Organization is. Only that they have been stealing all forms of Doc P from every dimension. Doc P, Duck P, Doc P Cherry, all were taken by them. And MAGES. was the only one to know of their existence. She had been called mad, insane, and foolish for trying to find a soda brand that everyone said never existed, but it had all lead up to this.

She had finally found the Organization's location. It was all thanks to an address card that one of their lackeys had dropped during one of her searches for the formidable group. She had expected their center of operations to be in a volcano, or an underwater base. She did not expect it to be in a large white research building in Leanbox. MAGES. assumed that the Organization decided to hide out in the open to avoid suspicion. That was a clever way to avoid admitting that she never noticed the building despite being in Leanbox several times to visit her sister/cousin.

Shaking off that feeling of failure, MAGES. looks up at the white building, thinking of a way to enter the building without arousing suspicion.

"Maybe I can create a crater sized hole as an entrance…"

She wasn't doing that good of a job. After several failed ideas, MAGES. decided that the best way to enter the building without being detected was the back door. It was fortunately unlocked.

"Heh. For a secret organization, they don't do a good job with their security."

MAGES. soon found herself in a locker room that was lined with silver lockers. She guessed that this is where Organization workers left their stuff. As she examined the lockers, she discovered that one of them was unlocked. Swinging it open, she found a large white lab coat and a sanitation mask. Just what she needed for a disguise!

"How convenient. Almost too convenient."

MAGES. wondered if this was a setup, as if the Organization had anticipated her arrival. Was she walking into a trap?

She decided to take the risk. If she did end up in a trap, she would be able to use her magic to aid in her escape. No one was as skilled with magic as her! Putting on the white lab coat, the white mouth cover mask over her mouth and mole, and placing her hat and staff in her inventory, MAGES. was ready for anything!

MAGES. made her way deeper into the facility, walking through white painted hallways. The halls were empty and were surprisingly well kept. Not a speck of dust was anywhere.

"Hmm. Either the Organization has a big cleaning budget, or they use magic to clean. Either way, I must be careful."

After making her way through more hallways, and slipping a few times due to how well waxed they were, MAGES. found a research lab. There were tables and desked strewn about the large cafeteria sized room, each having a project being worked on by different groups. MAGES. couldn't make out what projects each group was working on, but she did notice something odd with all of the workers. They all had the same hair color.

Short, tall, busty, flat, long hair, short hair, curly or straight, each worker had the same hair color. Blue. Are they all clones? Relatives? Is it casual Friday? MAGES. didn't know, and she really didn't like not knowing. The only way to find her answers was to ask. All she had to do was not rouse any suspicion, and she would be in the clear.

"Hello," MAGES. said as she approached a table. A researcher with the same sanitary mask as hers but with a hair bun looked up at her. Good she got her attention. Now she just needs to act natural. "It appears I have suffered from amnesia. Might you remind me as of what we are all working on?"

Solid question. Perfect. Nice one MAGES.. The researcher looked up at her confusingly. While MAGES. kept a stoic appearance, she was sweating underneath her coat. The researcher then gave a small smile under her mask. "Oh, must have been another accident with the mind mixer. Having your mental consciousness split amongst us all does cause some mental side effects." MAGES. noted that this researcher strangely sounded like her. "If you head down to the medical wing, you can collect your recorded memories. You may experience some whiplash during the memory download though."

"Errr… Thanks," MAGES. said. It sounded as if the Organization is working with some technology that she could only dream of. As she turned towards the doors, she remembered her sole reason for perpetrating the building and turned to the researcher again. "Also, would you happen to know where they keep all the Doc P?"

The researcher tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "You have amnesia, but you know what Doc P is?" Oops. MAGES. tried to think of an excuse until the researcher just shook her head. "Well makes sense. Our love for that delectable beverage is hard wired into our DNA. Quite literally in fact." She pointed to the doors at the right side of the room. "Go out those doors and take two rights. You'll find the vending machine where we keep them all."

"Ah. Well thank you for the assistance," MAGES. said as she left the researcher to her work and exited the room. The researcher turned back to her desk and mumbled to herself.

"I am no one's assistant," she mumbled as she turned her head to a short haired researcher next to her. "May you hand me the wrench, assistant?"

"Oh, of course, assistant," the short haired one said as she passed the wrench to her. "May you ask that assistant over there if I can borrow her welding torch, assistant?"

"Of course assistant." The hair bun researcher turned to a long haired pony tail researcher. "Assistant…"

"I heard her, I heard her." She grumbled, handing her the welding torch.

"Thank you assistant," she said as she turned back to the short haired researcher. "Assistant?"

"Thank you assistant," she said as she took the welding torch from the hair bun researcher.

"You're welcome assistant," she said as they all continued their work.

~XOX~

MAGES. stood in front of the large, Doc P branded vending machine in awe. The drink that she was searching for all this time was finally in front of her. The only thing that stood between her now was some metal and plastic that was holding them inside the machine. MAGES. was acting as giddy as RED when she enters a full open bath house and pulled out a few credits. But before she placed them into the machine, she stopped herself. It could not possibly be this easy.

"No," she said to herself. "The Organization is crafty. They would not leave such an important resource out in the open like this." She placed an ear against the machine and knocked on it. The plastic covering vibrated from each knock. "There must be a secret passage behind this machine, holding all of the Doc P they had collected."

MAGES. eyes turned to the keypad on the machine. "Ah ha! The two, five, seven, and nine keys have been worn down. By the process of elimination, I should be able to find the code that will open the doors to their Doc P reserves!"

MAGES. proceeded to input several codes into the keypad. "Let's see… Two, five, seven, and nine don't work. Nine, seven, five, and two don't work either."

"Excuse me."

"Five, seven, nine, and two didn't work."

"Excuse me."

"Five, nine, two, seven…"

"Excuse me!"

MAGES. flipped around to find a tall, busty researcher with short, twin-tailed blue hair and a mole on her bottom right cheek was standing behind her. Her foot was tapping on the ground as she held some credits in one of her hands. MAGES. just looked at her in surprise. Had she finally been found out?

"I would like to get some Doc P," the tall woman said in an annoyed manner.

"O-Oh! Of course!" MAGES. stood back up and took a step away from the machine as the other woman stepped forward. She put her credits into the machine's coin slot and pressed two, seven, five, nine. A can of Doc P fell into the compartment below. She kneeled down and picked it up as MAGES. looked at her. "Ah, so the Organization forces people to pay for their beverages. How devious."

The taller woman looked at MAGES. with a flat expression. "You're new here, aren't you?" she asked as she popped her can open and took a sip.

MAGES. face nearly went white when she said that. Had she finally been found out? Quick, what's the best way to escape? Nuclear explosion? Freeze the entire building? Create a black hole that will absorb everything in a five-mile radius?

" _Attention, attention!"_ MAGES. _"We are holding a celebratory party in the mess hall. Attendance is mandatory."_ Oh thank the goddess, an out! MAGES. just needed to act casual and make her escape.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, but I am afraid I must take my leave now," she said as she turned around and walked away. Perfect escape plan. Now all she has to do is find the exit and-

"The mess hall is in the other direction."

MAGES. froze up in mid step. Quick! Think of another excuse! "O-Oh! I-I was going to go use the restroom b-before I went to the mess hall! Don't worry about me! Ha ha! Ha…" Nice job, mad magician. MAGES. turns around to leave again as the woman spoke up again.

"The restroom's in the other direction."

MAGES. froze again. There's no way out now. No, wait. There is still one way for her to escape. "Of course," she said as she turned around. "I will just be using the facilities as you go on ahead of me. No reason to worry about me." Yes, the perfect ploy. As soon as this woman leaves for the mess hall, MAGES. will make her grand escape!

To her surprise, the woman followed next to her. "Eh, I need to use the restroom as well," she said as she took another sip from her Doc P. "Besides, if you didn't know where the mess hall was, you sure as Nep don't know where the restrooms are. I'll take you there and we can go to the mess hall together."

"Oh… Thanks…" was all that MAGES. could say as she walked deeper into the Organization's halls.

~XOX~

Well here she was. Standing in the mess hall with all the Organization's operatives. She could have sworn there was only just about fifty people in the room, clamoring about the place. Many of them chatted with each other as others were on their devices. MAGES. didn't know what to do. She was surrounded by the enemy with no possible means of escape.

Could she use this to her advantage? Maybe a surprise attack would work? Yes. That could work. Now which spell should she use? A fire spell? Maybe an ice spell? Or a wind spell to catch them off guard before unleashing her EXE drive attack? Yes, that could work. She could easily destroy the Organization with an attack like that! All she has to do is wait for the right moment and…

"Is that Doc P being served over there?"

MAGES. plan was swiftly forgotten as she made her way to the long table with food and drinks laid out. The food was irrelevant, but the drinks being served were all the different kinds of Doc P. Doc P classic, Duck P, Doc P Cherry, they were all there. There were even Doc P floats with vanilla ice cream! MAGES. couldn't contain herself as she picked up a can of each type and a float and pulled her mask down, taking a sip from each.

"Attention everyone! I'd like to make an announcement!"

Oh, the fizzy feeling from the classic Doc P in her mouth sent shivers down her spine!

"I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for joining the Organization since its creation three years ago!"

The Duck P had a higher sugar content than the classic, sending a spark of energy through MAGES. body.

"I'd just like to thank some of our newest employees for joining us this year!"

The cherry soda did taste a bit strong, but MAGES. still found the drink enjoyable.

"I'd like to thank MAGES,, MAGES!, MAGES', MAGES:…"

And the float! Oh it was just wonderful! The mix of vanilla and soda! Oh, it was simply to die for!

"…And our newest arrival..."

 _Click_

"MAGES.."

MAGES. was in mid swallow when she saw everyone's eyes focused on her. Even worse, a thin woman with a mole on her left cheek, long, straight blue hair wearing a small brown coat, black shorts and leggings was standing on a table, and she was pointing a gun directly at MAGES..

All MAGES. could do was gulp down the rest of the Doc P she had in her mouth. The thin woman had her finger on the trigger and was ready to fire. Blue eyes met blue eyes as MAGES. and the woman stared at each other in anticipation, waiting for either to make their move.

 _PEW!_

MAGES. ducked, dropping all her cans of Doc P on the ground. As she waited for the ensuing chaos, she noticed that the room was a lot darker. In fact, the light was only around her. She looked up and saw that the rest of the lights in the room were off and the light above her was the only one on and was illuminating her. She had been singled out. It was over.

"MAGES. of the Hyperdimension!" The woman called out as she put her gun away. "Please come up to the table!" MAGES. complied, walking over to the table with a defeated expression. The woman stretched her hand down to MAGES.. MAGES. took her hand and was pulled up to the table next to the woman. "Thank you for your interest in joining the Organization, MAGES. of the Hyperdimension. Although we'd prefer that you send in an application instead of breaking into our building. But I guess that's how everyone else got their job here, am I right?" The crowd of blue haired researchers laughed at the thin woman's joke.

MAGES. shook her head and stomped her foot down, surprising the crowd. "Do you take me as some side show to laugh at? I am the mad magician MAGES.! The greatest magician to ever live! If you fear for your lives, I demand you relinquish all of your Doc P to me!" The crowd stood in silence, just according to plan. MAGES. had successfully intimidated them, and had them all cowering in fear.

Except for the brown coated woman next to her, who started laughing. "Hee hee… Pff ah ha… Ha ha ha ha!" Her laugh became contagious as the crowd started laughing along with her. MAGES. stance faltered as she watched her most fearsome enemy laughing around her. The woman just wrapped her arm around MAGES. neck as she wiped a tear from her eye. "Ha, ha! Oh… Fifty versions of the same speech, and it never gets old! Pah ha ha!"

"Do you not understand who you are mocking?" MAGES. growled as she pulled herself away from the woman. "I am MAGES.! The greatest magician and smartest scientist in Hyperdimension!"

"Ha ha! Ooh, I… I'm sorry…" the woman said as she stopped laughing. "It's just hilarious every time. Ahem. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mages."

"… Huh?" was all that MAGES. could say.

"Allow me to explain." She took out her light gun and fired at the ceiling, turning all the lights back on before putting it away again. "As you already know, there are multiple dimensions scattered about time and space. Each dimensions always have a set of the same characters. The Lastation goddess, the Lowee goddess, and the Leanbox goddess. The only exception to that rule is the Planeptune goddess."

"I always wondered about that fact," a short, long haired MAGES. said.

"I assume it's to save money on assets," a tall, curly haired MAGES. mocked.

"Each dimension has set characters," Mages continued. "There are also the wind walker IF, the sweater equipped nurse Compa, a Histoire…"

"And a MAGES.," MAGES. said in a quiet voice of realization.

"Exactly. A MAGES. in each dimension. Every one of them trying to crack the secret to interdimensional travel using microwaves and microwaves. Each one succeeding, and each one failing. Each one with a new idea, each one that didn't even think of that. And each one having an insatiable desire for Doc P!"

"So, the Organization is a group of MAGES. from different dimensions?" MAGES. asked. "I believe I've heard of this before…"

"I have no idea what you're talking a-burp-bout," Mages said, wiping her mouth.

"But how does the Doc P factor into this? Why have you stolen my, and other versions of me, favorite drink from each dimension?"

"Well we can't advertise a multi-dimensional collaboration publicly!" Mages said. "The goddesses would want the project shut down! And it isn't always that easy to find your other self. Which is why we had developed a plan to gain the attention of all MAGES., but avoid detection from the goddesses. I would like to thank MAGES? for that plan."

"What plan?"

"Every MAGES. is in love with Doc P, to the point that if they can't find anymore, they will go to another dimension. With that idea, the Organization set out to collect all the Doc P in each dimension and leave a calling card for that dimension's MAGES.. When that MAGES. finds the card, they will head here. Once they arrive, they will sneak through the back door, equip the disguise we leave in the unlocked locker, wander through the facility, meet me, and be hired on as a dimensional research assistant!"

"So you're telling me… All this was actually planned?!"

"Indeed." Mages nodded her head. "It is the perfect plan and the perfect collaboration between dimensions. Imagine it MAGES.. With all of our brain power and mastery of magic, we could discover new dimensions! Advance technology centuries early! We could even become the smartest and most powerful group in time and space!" Mages turned to face MAGES. and grabbed her hands. She was positively beaming at MAGES.! "MAGES. of the Hyperdimension! Will you join the Organization?"

Everyone, all the MAGES. of fifty dimensions stood in anticipation for MAGES. answer. MAGES. didn't know what to say. She had been chasing the Organization through fifty dimensions, with the intent to destroy them and recover her Doc P. But now that she's found out that the Organization is actually different versions of her and wants to work with her, she didn't know what to do. Should she back out, knowing that she'll never see her precious Doc P again, or join the Organization and learn the secrets of the multiverse?

"I… I-"

~XOX~

"Rom! Ram!" Rom, Ram, and MAGES. turned to the end of the grocery isle. "There you are!"

"Mina!" Ram and Rom said in unison.

Mina walked up to them as she carried a box full of food in each arm. "I was wondering where you were. Dear me, you're covered in soda!"

"We raced carts!"

"We… Crashed…"

"Well let's head home then," Mina said to the two. "You two need a bath." She looked up to see MAGES. as the two whined about taking a bath. "Oh, miss MAGES.! I'm sorry if they were a problem for you. They can be quite the handful."

"Oh, it was no problem," MAGES. said to the Oracle. "They were just finishing up an amusing story before you walked in. Pray tell, could you two finish it for me?" she asked the sticky twins.

Their response was to giggle at her request. "Hee hee. You'll have to decide how it ends," Ram giggled.

MAGES. sighed as Mina looked down at the twins. "Come on Rom. Ram. Let's return to the basilicom. I'll prepare a bubble bath for you two to clean yourselves."

"Yay! Bubble bath!" Ram cheered. The two followed Mina out of the isle as MAGES. looked on.

The mad magician shook her head to herself. "Ah, those two and their stories." _Bing bing! Bing bing!_ MAGES. phone rang in her pocket. "Hello?" she asked, answering it. "Yes I'm at Nooks Goods. Uh huh. There's no Doc P in the store. Yes. Give those two a pat on the back for doing such a good job. I'll leave the card here for her." MAGES hung up and proceeded to take a small calling card for the Organization out of her pocket and place it on the rack where the Doc P once stood. "Loochs tneve emag noitamina cisum, future assistant. Loochs tneve emag noitamina cisum." She turned around and pulled out a small pocket sized microwave and input a command on its keypad. A portal opened up in front of her, creating a slight breeze. She wiped off the chocolate drop from her check and stepped through it, not knowing that the breeze made the card slide off the shelf and underneath as she disappeared.

Not a minute after, MAGES. of the Hyperdimension walked into the aisle and saw the long gone Doc P. "Damn. The Organization has struck again. I'll find you one day, Organization. You hear me? One day." The card lied under the shelves out of view as MAGES. swore that she would destroy the Organization to all the shop goers. She was swiftly escorted out of the building.

* * *

 **Phew! Finally, its finished! This chapter was a hard one to write, since I had a bunch of different ideas for it. But I'm really happy with how it turned out! Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did!**

 **HDNeptunia: Since you said this wasn't a request, I'm not sure if Compa being madly in love with Warechu would work or not. It could work, but I don't think it'd be that funny of an idea, so sorry. If you have any other suggestions you could send those in and see if they'll be chosen!**

 **NepisLife: Thanks, and I think I got it. She seems to have drank some of them though.**

 **PsychoPony777: Glad you found the previous chapter cute! I think both of these ideas could work, with the felons being trained by the Oracles and Uzume and Kurome fangirling together when they should be fighting. Once I make more progress in the games, which I have been putting off, I'll see about writing them.**

 **KuletXCore: I'm really glad you liked it! I'm not entirely certain about writing the CPU's having their HDD personalities split since some of them are as close to their original personalities, but it could be worth a try. I'll see about adding it to the list if I can think of a clever way to use it.**

 **Guest Quest: First idea could be really funny with Neptune trying to be a superhero, especially with Iris Heart as a superhero. Second idea, I see some potential with it, especially with Blanc's physical attributes so I'll look into adding both of these ideas to my to-do list.**

 **Ark: Glad you liked it. I didn't want the younger CPUs to just be themselves but younger, so I went with giving them more childish personalities but still have their original personalities be recognizable.**

 **Author Candidate-James Scott: I'm not certain about this idea, since Vert isn't my favorite CPU, but I can at least let this idea simmer. Also I already have an idea for your previous suggestion, but if you are worried about me writing it you can PM me about it being chosen.**

 **mr I hate znt nobles kill em: Glad you liked Censored and I hope you liked the other chapters!**

 **If you liked this chapter, leave a review! And if you have a suggestion, send it in! Next time, a story suggestion by Kaiyo No Umi, Noire tells her feelings to Neptune in Honest Heart!**


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